Monday, November 28, 2005

ftp was nice

so maybe *I'm* not that nice
and I could have at least
thought twice
but it was so easy
ftp connected me
a surreal connection
a dissection of time spent
and places we rent
a collection of interests
a glimpse of taste
there is little time to waste
and thus i guess
i didn't hesitate
to investigate
this digital landscape of
my new playmate

Sunday, November 27, 2005

document, capture each day

it seems I need distance
as I push interaction away
yet draw in others to stay
this lack of self interest, my decay
yet divulge in it I will play
in self documentary each day
will be my way
I will pay what ever it takes
to make my sacrifice
and create this device
that i can utilize and devise
this artistic analysis of
my inner most thoughts
my robots, and chaos of knots
I think its all for not
my self is the only I've fought
critical evolution
in this conclusion of direction
this will be my infection
the detection of my innermost feats
the sails and the beats
a collection of my expressive
endeavors and self constructing letters
to document my life
a moment earth confined
divided by this sublime
and conscious
sometimes obnoxious
existence of mine
throughout a universe
of great time
a moment we all define
and here I document mine.

darkness upon my dreams

its quiet and the night is still
a midnight lover from the shadows
descending into my dreams
this is an erotic fantasy it seems
silky skin gleams in sight
it reflects the ebony night
dark as the lingering twilight
a midnight delight
passion into the morning light
I awake from this lonely night
alone with my steam_E dream

Friday, November 25, 2005

add/delete user?

have I gone mad
blinded I taste from
another mac user
something tangible yet virtual
a common addiction
of fruit
a byte of you
is too much to compute
this is a trivial pursuit
for my distance is increasing
in days
I am headed away
and no lover
can stay
even if apple is your game
my-space is
the ultimate race
in time I want to define
how to love and
yet treasure
my own dam time
and this love of yours
can mess up my mind
and I may find
in a months time
a heart of broken
hopes
and still more ropes
to keep me here
this is just a part of
what I fear
among the virus you've installed
and the system maintenance
I've got to overhaul
this is not all
that is dealing out cards
I have some bugs in my design
and in order to work here
you'll have to find time
to deal with this little network of mine.

goodbye we must say....

you memory is fading
the essence of you is just a memory
in my distant past
a recollection with effort
and yet i long for you
waiting to hear your voice
wanting you to say
no
stop
wait
but those words will never come
and this place we've now created
is but severed in half
in a distance that is 1/4 earths mass
at last i can say
that I have made head way
in finding my self
and guiding us well
my direction won't sway
continue on
experiencing life
living each day
as I would have you stayed
wether we sill would have played
this is where
the reality sets in
and I can see the
love for you pumping
under my skin
and your essence within
this environment of lust
a simple misguided trust
of emotional and sexual frustration
your distance inflates them
lets save our encounter for the future
in this simple
redesign in our relationship over time
for now I have to move on with mine.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

my lil oh's....

my fear
of destiny
of the inevitable
the future

my desire
for the unknown
of the truth
of history

my inspiration
the little questions
simple lessons
people i've invested in

my love
of nature
of simplicity
and expression

my obsession
with technology
interaction
and several distractions

my reaction
to this existence
my instance
of consciousness

my delivery
of moment
this perception
and this direction
in time...

not now

as I move forward
I find my self looking for reverse
trying to find a way to hide
looking for a new disguise
hoping I can fly
and leave these feelings behind
its not that they are not
of love I find
these feeling hard to define
I can't manage my time
I have to deliver this design
and continue on mine
this journey of me I must find
I need my space
this place where I can define
the distance of
and compassion's above
this is the flutter of my heart seen
a view of this dream
an illusion it could be
I need to make sure I still see
this part of me
blossom and become the artist
I see in the image of me
that I developed online
and over this defining time
of intimate self discovery I find
that I have a lot more of me
to discover in this sea
of mystery

Monday, November 21, 2005

Mac_support

behavioral isolation of species
an apple integration precedes me
intentional digital simulation
an exquisite manipulation
of this binary form of code
an obsolete version of
originally I was sold,
slowly, your touch updates
my system with attraction
simply your attention to detail
is de-fragmenting my distractions
installing new software
to redesign passion
is this simple interaction

Saturday, November 19, 2005

One...NOT

her eyes shifted
her attitude twisted
a little sadistic
I wish I had missed it
cuz when I caught
how she dis_d it
out to me
I had to make her see
what a fucking bitch
and how she
is an evil witch
demeaning in language
your all but a stranger
dangerous is this dismissal
your no sister
the way you play
this is an evil eliminating way
you will see your own decay
in this missery
you pave your self
into that corner of elite
in your mind
no others can compete
and this is how you
dish out your fake heart treat
with shifted eyes
that roll through the street
I will eliminate this conceit
it is of the most obsolete
your heart has lost emotion
from your cold devotion
to this lack of respect
and demanded reject
of the people whom
you wish to have support you
when you don't even
take the time to see
that your pissing off
the vitality of this
enterprise you seek
your lack of participation
reeks this is your
odor of your crew
its elitism for you
but its lonely in there
when your left
isolated and blue
and you think you see through
but your not interacting
instead your deactivating
this communiKEY bab_E
because its more than just about
one, hey look here,
there is more under this sun
than just Alala One

Thursday, November 17, 2005

participation in the production of sUgar

I have to go buy
a new dustmask today
it's all in good work that I play
this effort to clean up decay
filter in new spirits
think of a way they can't hear it
hide our entry, secure it
detour it
for sure its
gonna be a glorious
ghostly hidden ball
exploring this abandon shell of walls
we will bring it just one more night...for all

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Sometimes late at night...

there is a vision
which will not leave my mind
a vision of us
a moment of time
a space to unwind
a taste of sweet lime
to quicken our pace
and trace the wind
consumed we try to blend
this message I send
of confessions
my lustful aggressions
this is no place for our digestion
of this obsession
of my love
it slips on like a glove
ever amorphous
like the stars above
our bodies tangle
a new strain of
macro-evolution
in this embryo of
our emotions
devotion
and simple
annotations
to this complex
relation, in relation
to phenotype
of our pangaea of
this little
lovers fight
to survive
the distance
of this asexual
relationship
in the grips of
paradise and
the reality of
this trivial life
without a partner
I will prosper
with strife
and continue to wonder
about the beta test
that fizzles now less
with no possible
time to invest.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

flustered with....

the one person
whom you made it for
whom you can't help
but completely adore
someone for
more than a quick tour
a door into
another world
when dreams
are created and situated
between massive objects
of equal attraction
a disaster of this reaction
a lack of distraction
when you just need a simple
infraction
something to impact
and take this
complex hack
back to the sale rack
I can't handle this lack
of response
a celibate entourage
to a distant
and deliberate
place where
I can see no trace
of us together
in that place
or that space
in each others arms
it seems so far
I seem stuck here
lingering in Boulder tar
shaken us
you have so far
and this may be the
the bitter sweet
more like a thick chocolate treat
but I will defeat
this sticky treat
and retreat to
a foreign blip
a time a place
an occupation of
a foreign space
and this long road
of time we see
our history
fading away
time takes hold and rips
those days and seconds away
and before us lay
this next and beautiful day
shimmering and shining
and telling us to
keep going our way
and eventually if it be
someday
we may run into
a path remembered
surly treasured
and find our loves
moved
transformed
and grown
or deformed
decayed
or sprouted
i just don't want to doubt it

Friday, November 11, 2005

my lil moss year round...

autumn leaves soaked
and carved into the swollen grass
Blades green with moisture
delivered from drenching months
of my tears
falling upon the linoleum
and spilling upon the concrete
that runs between our souls
the tears flow down river
emptying into the ocean
of my dreams
drenching and drowning
my fears
and realizing my tears
are mirrors of my mind
if only I would take more time
to define this delicate season
and find my love
not lost in the memories
but in the little toes
that still reflect in the
waters that fill my puddles
with a pretense that
stresses and intensifies
as he splashes
and demands to be loved
adored and tucked in
through the little door
thats always open
just for him
a season of him is always in

darwin think fast....

how can you
sit here and
wait for things to pass
you by
when you can fly
and take hold
of this precious
life and unfold
this delicate
flake of snow
that can be baked into
a pure and clear crystal
an automatic
love pistol
that can gauge where
to find your heart
and where there is
a super value shopping cart
fear not dread this feast
the beast is this
lack of nutrition
an over ingestion of yeast
and dairy
taste the presence of
hormones
genetic evidence
is this pathetic
sediment
of a civilization
upon this supermarket
of canned dreams
and unconventional
eliminator it seems
a reference to this
deliverance of
indigestion of this
inhuman reflection
of our natural selection

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

still....

I drift here
barely in the balance
holding this space
occupying time
covering you with
the thought of how
I want to spend my time
this mess
that I have ingested
is just another
fantasy an addiction
to a style of destruction
a must have reduction
of this obstruction
I can only let you see
the very part of me
that is the shell of how
I see these places
should look
how I should cook
this recipe
for my own destructive
entity
a vital part of my
identity
but not to falsify
and unjustified
this conception
of this mass deception
on the reality of mine
and how I really
spend all my time
a quaker state
of lubbed up fate
a slippery state of mishap
to mistake
there is nothing to debate
its just a road of fate
if you can understand the
lack of mistake
its just a literal debate
on the eventual path
that has driven us past
this point of dimensions
inside this suspension of
my outside from within
a place I've never been
before this time I see
are you still here with me?

I drank

this little korean ginseng drink
with the root in the bottle
struck me at the right time
my loins want to concur
then dwell in the divine
multiply and intensify
this feeling of desire
this is an uncontrollable fire
one I hope will never retire
for this moment is consumed
with the thought of sex with you

I awoke to

candy wrappers clutter the floor
toys and shoes thrown through the door
no more
this mess is before
my insanity for sure
I need a detour
a simple cure for this
state of stale
a place not to inhale
a clutter of smoke
this place is no joke
clean it up
there is still hope.

Monday, November 07, 2005

it's hard when....

the dreams are to real
I can almost feel
the moisture of your breath
the heat of your soul
I could almost loose control
but the dreams all I have
your memories in my head
a simple pleasure instead
of your fingers through my hair
those long passionate stares
simple silly sexual dares
it doesn't matter if anyone cares
I want to feel the hairs
rise on the nap of my neck
as I kiss your erect
your moans i detect
a love in the quivers
your heart starts to shiver
our bodies deliver
the expression of our time
a delivery of our sublime existence
in my mind, a dream to define

Sunday, November 06, 2005

carried away

a hole in the side you say
take a break
exhale relax
don't get so side tracked
keep in the abstract
distract from
the obsessive react
and create a new
beat, like candy so sweet
a cosmic love treat
let us nuzzle our feet
and delete the
distance that divides
our time
but delivers sweet
wine with the age
of love a label of our
fine devoted sign
of romance
advance of love
thru this musical dance
of our hearts trance

evidence is defence

amnesia over you
I get lost its true
I cant find my way thru
the fog and the blue
is it just a dream in my head
this faded memory
of true love with you
it's like a brick to the noggin
delayed recogN0sense

Thursday, November 03, 2005

/null

the sorrow
one feels
when they are
left with no word
no sign
not even an
exit, or rewind
I can't define
exactly
what time
it all changed
and how I wish
I could have
rearranged
this game
of division of mind
and time
that creates a
crack and
slack in the love
line of mine
no way to climb
this desolate peak
this cursed
summit of sweet feat
this battle has
gotten me beat
and my energy is
gone, I'm now
mad, and can barely stand
this energy leach
broken promises of beach
instead this
love is bleach
and life here is obsolete
delete

erasers hurt

erasers hurt
but sometimes
you need to erase
that plague of
madness
that blinds your vision
your path
of happiness
why do I have
to erase
why do people not
react, or interact
to make me stop
that elimination
from my life
I don't want to
but when there is no
interaction
and no love
then why stay
I can't feed here
on my own
twisted feelings
of decay

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

self torture

empty collapsing upon it's self
removing debris that keep
falling into the depths
of depression and infestation
of the mind
if I could only
better manage my time
these among others
are questions on my mind
does this pass
how long will it last
will I still feel this burden of mass
weighing within the walls of my skin
I know this matter
is not the end
its just a state
of connection
a map of my directions
and where my soul
has stained this
existence
we call life
I want to see more of the light
the desire
the infection
this is a love
of my direction
its all I can
fill in my canisters of hope
nothings funny
when you've lost
your ability to cope
your desire
for the same
alone I am
crazy jane
lonely and to blame
exist in this
self pity and shame
a conscious
game to extract
and react
the lame
excuse I need
to sit on my thneed.

nowichange

there is this place
this time
when you find
out what you need 2 do
you decide
you must change
must rearrange
and de-constrain
these impressions
these insistent regressions
I have so much to do
I want so much for you
I just can't make do
in this tunnel of blue
this trap is collapsing
my back is
to my door
but I have started
to keep my score
and this is my time
to take care of mine
including the divine
cussing kid of playa-time
it will be hard
to change
and break the plan
reconstruct and direct a
new man
in european sand
spanish is the plan
I will demand
to live our dreams
be true to my screams
of lust and desires
I need a change of fire
and the time can not wait
it is my fate
no time to deliberate