Surprise!

surprise hey LOL surprise
I'm coming to town
and I'm not going to tell you
I'm not going to call you
well not until Saturday Night at 9pm
All your friends will tell you
they will see me
I will hang with them
they will call you and see where you are
they will see if you are coming down
Hey surprise, I coming to town
not to see you
but surprise, I wanted you to know
I won't be seeing you
huh, yeah so I'm in town
I guess you heard
yeah so what is up
I'm in town, surprise!
I leave tomorrow
I didn't see you
maybe I'll see you online
whatever
it would suck if I don't see you
but I didn't call
I was busy
seeing everyone else
who was calling you
telling you
that I was in town
but not to see you
just to surprise you and to laugh
and to let you know
I don't care
surprise!

the equation of this love is divided by rivers
valleys and mountain ranges
its complicated with plurals
attitudes and careless endeavors
yet the time can pass
effortlessly romantic so it seems
splendid adventures employ us
how can this be less
desired than my dreams
the reality is much more raw
do I really dare leave them unlocked
images unfold in melancholy
as I gaze into space
thinking the reality in my head
almost better than you in bed
slap me already
smile, you've got your lovely child
you don't need this juvenile distraction
long-distance attraction
over-rated in caption
sex is apparently the only attraction

sometimes i feel so emotionless
so withdrawn from the world
from even my life
or the things that I have been told
are suppose to be important in my life
none the less
i shout down my feelings
and I try not to care
like when you decide
to not give to the beggar on the street
when you pass that person
you decide not to care
not to let your emotions
or your empathy overwhelm you to give
like you know its all a fleeting moment
a blink of an eye
it can all be over in now or tomorrow or never
we just have to be
even if they aren't talking to you
because your a stoner
or society told them to think that way
or because its been programmed
how do we buck the system
create our own space
to grow and learn and love
how do I hold on to my emotions
yet exist in this world of blindness
delivered by ignorance and carelessness
how do I change myself into a living
conscious person whom
accelerates the world we live in
and creates change thats locally global
I write to listen to hear
to express and understand
that which I find in others
I want to find in myself

I'm back

back to thin air
and colored aspens
the comfort of
bike paths
and forced air heat
back to driving
and my native language
I'm back to Colorado
back to work
experimental art
and installations
bak to the hood
and the boyz
back to work
back to school
and biking up hills
happy thursdays
and nights in costume
back to participate
create and debate
this so called
intoxicated state
do you see me hesitate?
no I'm back
and I got my stack
all lined up ready to roll
I'm in control
back to the same old
Boulder