Wednesday, February 09, 2005


driving through,
looking for daily
all the same
people just plain
look at it all again
and see their
simple grin

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Scarry Story

Jared told me a story last night where he put on his white mask, climbed down the ladder and turned on and off the light on his desk which flickered. He kept making it flicker just right as he improved this story about death and dead, and finding your way through the decay. It was weird and creepy because this is my 7 year old giving a performance with his flickering desk light and his mask, while I sit on the top of his bed. It really scared the shit out of me :-)


All I want is honesty, to be real, to not waste my time. I guess that is where the alias tech_hoe, came from, because I really only make friends with people who offer me more than just friendship. I use my common technical audio/visual addiction as just one of my preferences for hanging out or transgressing that group of people.

I don't want to play games anywhere, I cut those people from my life and choose not to interact with them. People who are productive with me, have knowledge and friendship to offer, hold a special place on my contact list.

I am on a journey of life to learn and expand my knowledge, because that is the most important thing to me. I like to do that in several different areas, astronomy being one of my most powerful knowledge addictions. Yet I love to study other sciences, engineering, philosophy, art, dance, health, environments, interactivity, communication and lots of stuff. I find my self combining all of these elements into a well rounded education of life.

But, psychological games that break down the person, and the human, the self-esteem are not something I will participate in. I like honesty, and expect others to be honest with me, I am blunt, and sometimes I use it to be funny or sometimes to make a point. But either way, I am creating interaction and questions arise from these important interactions.

I am not sure where my boundaries should exactly lie, and that is why I implemented my aliases as a useful way to determine my characteristic traits. After reading DJ Spooky's Book Rhythm Science, it really struck me that I was constantly remixing my different personality traits into a complex single person that was completely misunderstood. I am now trying to form a couple of interpersonal aliases that will allow my various characteristics their individual development and time, (which is determinable by company).

For example, when I am a pain in the but, a feminist, kind of bitchy, definitely blunt and even rude I am JanedaPain. When I am hanging out with some guy and picking up on his technology, then I am the tech_hoe or software_hoe. When I am hanging with my kid around the Burning Man crew and if he's a swearing like he's on the playa, then I am Mrs. Cusskid. If I am geekin out, then I am digiru (digital guru). And if I am remixing any science, spac_e shit at a gig, then they call me NASA. If I am at work or in school, I am Jane Crayton. This is just an example of how I can become different people, and that is not all. And what is funny is that we all do it, most of us suppress these other identities and converge them under our given birth names.

It is a powerful thing when you can find a place to freely express an identity, and let your self truly find your unique finger print of characteristics that create your unique set of identities. Allowing yourself to embrace these personalities empowers you to learn even more in the given situations and does not limit you to one social scene. This function has allowed me to become a chameleon through different groups communication to several different species.

Now remix your identities into special formulas and combinations that reflect the environment and company of your present location. Once this technique of chameleon ism is accomplished learning and improved time management of select groups of people becomes easier. Managing thoughts in your head becomes easier, and developing the amorphous you is ever more possible. This also allows for more honesty.

Thursday, February 03, 2005


of sky
and heavens
the purest
and highest
the sublime
technology of the pure,
awe inspiring
empyreal absurdity
technology which we
or revere worthy
our worship
and time
and money
this is the entity
not a physical object
but a concept
a philosophy
an amorphous
after thought
similar to religion
technology as a cult
and mysterious
as techno_sublime

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Memorials Memorials Memorials

Of whom do we build these treasures?
Tall and towering, powerful and strong, dark and long.
For whom do we want to see?
The Barber, a student, a family of three.
And why are they so special?
The effort of millions, adored by civilians.
Why is anyone who is special, special?
Simply, because of their charity."

I am easily seduced when...

sound waves
shifting blue
upon arrival
penetrating my mind
rhythm finds time
to make a
swing of the hips
twist of the spine
grand illusions
drawn in space
with fingers divine
pointed toes
flirting effortlessly
with gestures
of interest
potential attractions
rolling shoulders
unfold blossoms of
gravitational reaction
hot bodies
enjoying frequencies
of music and dance.

beware, dude follow you to the lue...

do not touch me
your arms discust me
keep your distance
can you feel this resistance
are you to drunk to see
I hate dicks like ye
no right to follow me
a lue's not sought
no romance has caught
no more than a dot

Tuesday, February 01, 2005


Maybe your light
is not seen
or maybe
nobody is looking
but what is more important
is that you
a giant blue star
self imploded
into a black hole
thus your light will not
escape the event horizon
of your minds illusions
better to escape thru the
worm hole
than decaying
for eternity
waiting for
someone to find
your signals of life
when you are trapped
because of your own
inabilities to more forward
even if the hole looks darker
have faith, in yourself
you are not in the shadow of
Sun or Moon
you are in a black hole of your own
self doubt and destruction
where light can not be seen
or escape
Outside this
whirling dust
of dark matter
you will find us
Sun and Moon
waiting for you
to escape
what only
physics can
and you can
I have faith in you!