creative repression

it's hard to see
and find your way
when you live
in this constant
state of decay
you can portray
something for
everyone else to see
something lovely
the ease of
being a designer
is you can invent
your life
and existence
manifest your
desires and
your depressive
under layers
this illusion I pass
is nothing more than
a simple shield
a destructive layer
self absorbed
equally abrupt
fuck this dumb luck

contemplate this state

can't help but think
and wonder
if you'll take the time
and entertain me
with your apology
I am waiting here to see
giving you space and
time to reflect of this place
where you met me
and I wonder
if it changed you
as much as it did me
if our interaction
was more than
your simple attraction
and my over reaction
to our mutual attraction

up all night...

I can't concentrate
there is all this stuff late
and there is no time to wait
but here I am
thinking again
about how you will hold me
and make me feel loved
it's certainly occurred to me
to find this synchrony
of you and me
can't you see
maybe its my codependency
or this lack of space
I want to attach
my self in this space
of addicted touch
and kisses of such
passion and fashion
groove to the beat
focus on the heat
that reflects from
our sweat drenched bodies
grasping my waist
thrust into worldly dimensions
find our intentions an
easy collection of
expected, anticipations
of lust, and comfort
complicating friends
and lovers of the
deeper spiritual type.

cost of stars

so thats how I get involved
by selling my self
and letting you control me
sexually and mentally
fuck that
I am more than just
a passive mass of hormones
I am free to be me
and I am only comfortable
being intimate
with persons who really
know me and
interact with me,
which is less than I
can say for thee.

Keep it simple.

our connection
of mind and heart
an interaction between two
beings, organisms, humans,
this experience that brings us
together that lends us to
this feeling or longing
of ecstasy and intimacy
which motivates our intentions
our existence to evolve
with one another
is breathtaking.

keep on truckin my oh my...

I am fighting a battle in me
to win to loose
who do I become
where does my rope end
can I find my friend
to help me get to the beginning
again of life and love
and simple pleasures
that extend this life
worth living beyond
the epoch of time
beyond the realities of
this life of mine
were do I find a creature
of obsession
and steer him to
scare my mind into
the motivated
hysterics of the interdisciplinary
kind.

I'll wear it anyway.

this skirt of repression
it extends my depression
I find my self undressing
removing the beauty
and applying tasteless wear
for they take me
more serious here
confessing this is messing
with my head, instead
creation of a new woman
desired and admired
adorable and smart
intelligent and sexy
this is really not that messy
you'll see
the sexy feminist in me.

My Name is TechNo_h0e!

why did you want to demean me
use me, make me your Boulder fling
a simple fan fuck thing
well I think you felt my pain
your swollen dick has not
the power of persuasion here
I have cum not for your essence
I regress on our interaction
find this less attracting
thought you could be a friend
a mentor, a collaborative
the future could have inhabited
its not that I wasn't attracted
in fact your quite attractive
but I have this reaction
when I have been seen
as sexual and not as an
intelligent being
don't waste my time with
rhymes of contemporary sublime
when you can't even
respect a woman
of equal techo_power
with charismatic creative
birth of a nation of respectable
beings with human meaning
of equality and respect
which you have forgotten
in the lights I assume
because I have read your
intellectual spit and it really did hit
and maybe thats why
I find this hard to
process and I find myself
in this mess of
techno_feminism
there will be a day
I can sense it now
when you look upon
the seeds that I have planted
the wisdom that will grow
contains my forgiveness and
understanding of perspective
those seeds will grow our friendship
and you will forget me not
as I will not forget my
digital presence
as the techNo_h0e.

progressively regressive

The rain last night
reflected my experience
the inception of
great possibilities
subtracted by
my hips and curves
this curse of persuasion
that fails to bring
insight to my plight
and let my wisdom
fight for what is right
even spooky fell pray
to the ghost of sexual dismay
when I ran away demanding
I stay strong and respected
smart and protected
pixels were all I intended
expected the techNo_h0e.

theories change over time.

gravity of the blind
takes over my mind
where do we stand in time
string theory hard to combine
convergence of theories
space in perception
a parallax deception
Hubble expansion
dark matters subtraction
theories combusting
minor adjusting
predictions of creation
cosmological sensation