sometimes selfish is how it has to be...

there is no other lover
whom can compare to
you at this moment
the instant I fall
it is like the fly
whom steps lightly upon the venus trap
buzzing through my adventure
waiting to fall for someone real
to capture my heart
someone true
whom can love more
than just my skin
was it you whom let me in
or is it him too
I have not a clue
for what to do
but keep loving
my little dude
even though he is quite rude
my love for his attitude is
a true expression of
freedom you can only dream of
maybe you can't see them
but I need him
and he needs me
in order to be this free
and I need everyone to see
that I am here for more than just me
its at least two if not three in this hierarchy of
loving and being with me

in the melodies that describe my mood
the attitude of the bass subdued
a place for me to adjust and reboot
and take a straight look
into the essence of me
and try to see the place i need to be
and how I want to pee
in the reflection of my dreams
and in time it will all seem
as if it were a reflective state
of this quickened rate of my
lovely date whom has captured
my mind and now I wish I had more time
to develop this lush and favor full wine
made from our love of the time
we developed for ourselves in this
hesitated place where we found our hearts
and testing the arts of our sexual parts
I need more of these reality games
in time it will be our new thing
to play these silly files
and tweak the bass
your output is designed with grace
especially when you caress my face
with your delicate finger
that trace my curves
and lighten up my nerves
towards you and yours.

determined paths of operation

stirring in this self dilation
of my sexual stimulation
this complex iteration
within our duration
of emancipated love
it seems crazy from above
rotating degrees of interaction
properties of _visible objects
reflect on the oil that
glistens from your skin
letting this attraction begin
has been the only sin

hurry up and go

time is ticking as i pack and fix
to get ready to blitz this place
and gain my space and contemplate
this race that I have been in
and what I have to complete
what I may not let defeat
this place that I have
lost each and every race
i pack each day
anticipation is what I see fast and dry
I can't lie, this fear is growing inside
but I will not let it divide
or detour my plans
you can only lend a hand
to this I can derive
is going to be a delicate ride
of caution and wisdom
to guide my decision
of this new Mediterranean life of mine
the pleasure to unwind
continue to learn and define
the true nature of me and mine

solutions in evolution of love

i drove 300 miles to an elevation
where I thought my head would clear
hopeful i could find myself here
but every second I dare to fade
you sprung in my mind silver inlaid
like a love long delayed
and yet I gazed into the night
silent was our soak despite
the pounding of my heart
and the celestial art
a transparent start
that i hope to hear you've seen
the same fire ball as time between
this is the space my simple place
where i can find peace a solitude of mine
with my friends we quietly play
barely a word we said each day
enjoying our company of space
a new mood to evolve this place
relax away these fine cold days
and yet my mind continues to stray
I try to keep you tucked away
even-though you've consume my
night and light you've given
me a new reason to fight
and a fresh design
on a new kind of mind
and a conscious healthy
state of kind, your arms around mine
this is where I want to be
a conscious mystery
a social contest to undress
the stigmas of this enigma
of our time, and this little circle
where you consume mine
its only a mater of design
that I have the sign for
and I will make mine for you
to see that I still think
you could be good for me
even with your std
because its more than most
will admit they have
even more common 2 consider it bad
and where I have to find
my love is in my heart and head
this is critical if you sleep in my bed
and fuck with my kid's head
I know its nothing to dread
but I need you to know that
he's my priority instead
of this love that has infested my head
even with you invested
or ingested I like our path
your more than just simple math
and i can develop the solution
to your equation of love
the trajectory can be programmed above
this is the possibility of my kind of love.

A Fathers discouraging words will leave scars

The pain I feel when I hear those words
when I know that my own father has no faith
will not support me, will not encourage me
but instead discourage
and enrage me
with his words that demean me
and control my
emotions and actions
I don't need this kind of distraction
from my current actions
this interaction is bad for my mind
I can't even seem to be able to define
exactly why I have not been able to complete my missions
and have failed at this system
it's because of the box you fit me into
in this neat little place
that can only look this certain way
we don't want them to detect our play
cant reveal my self anyway
what the use in interacting today
I want to just hide away
divide this way
and say goodbye to my family
and this misunderstanding of
this entrancing way your suppose to be
its just not for me
fuck you and your vanity
I'll take my insanity
for my humanity and humility
is worth more than your
stability and the inheritance to be
is a fallacy not worth your insults
and abuse, I won't take your carrots
of control, your money, or your toll
i will do what i must
and I may just bust
but its mine, and I must
drive for my own lust
and even if you don't approve
its not your move
so don't be so rude
cuz i won't stand for it
not from any dude
or dad, and it's sad
that i sit here and express
and yet you think of me
less and less
but you've never read my posts
your even my host
and you've taught me the most
yet my site is a ghost
to you and your time
are spent in the company of
what you think is fine
of your precious
wine and the label
you think you've designed
but in time you'll see
that what you've designed is resentment
of men
and how I have to defend
this woman I am
and this technology I divide
between us it's our only common tie
and its sad that you and I
have to exist
in this twisted little fist
fight its beyond the twilight of insight
I feel your understanding is hopelessly out of sight
an your passive aggressive insults
are razors with alcohol shaving cream
gently cutting but only to sting
a lasting scar to bring
this memory of you
always handing me something else
instead of your hand

your diseases could turn me on

like the foul slurs that burn
from the tainted lips of my son
your ache for me
double your ache when u pee
it's not all about sex you see
I like to suck a herpie slur-pee
with my kid
whats your bid
do you dig
or do you dive
can I eat your *stuff*
I don't care if you don't puff
I have to learn to adjust
the spanish is a must
excuses your dues_es
of disaster
in a friendship on the line
of existence in the space-time
continuum of reality in this place
this disgusting human rat race
but intercourse is not the only place
that I can see this interaction
your port-o-potty reaction
to disease
is the lack of
this virtual reality
now please
revise your keys
and deliver to me
a more just confession
of your lust for me
I may just hold your dick while you pee
with a tong you see
kink_y 4 u and me...hehe

2 much time undefined

for every moment i stay up late
and work that extra night
sit tight on the computer all night
its not right
i need to divide my time
make justice for the crime
I need to apologize to him
and define a
new space for us to relate
and concentrate of
how I can be a better mom
for him and me
and provide us with
that bus of trust
and I still won't care if you cuss
i just want to adjust
to this lack of time
to help us define
what is important to yours and mine

multiple layers of love

i am draped in the clothes
of the last love
that occupied my time
the one whom captured
my dreams and thoughts
and carried them away
with him in his
overstuff bags
yet time has passed
and I still linger
in the essence of his shirt
yet I flirt
with the my new distraction
in fact I will add his
stack to my clothing rack
and wear them back to back
can I manage
to stack love like that
and continue to be
this techNO_c@t
a deviant brat
a digital trap
for these insufficient
lapse of memories
of uncontrollable
downloads into my rom
there is nothing wrong
with love more than
the one thats gone
as miles and seconds
become us
we transform from
acquaintance to lover
like digits into binary
each moving through
the mass of space
this finite race
against our own fate
we continue to rotate
and communicate
through these delicate
treasures we have left behind
for eachother to
love and define
these relationships over time.

I can't sleep I'm so excited

insomnia is agitating
this situation
of inflation in my mind
of time dilation
compassion
a simple exasperation
of this relation
in physical and emotional
states of debate
and lustful fate
of this intimate
and deliberate
combination of
chemicals to
produce a reaction
of this lovely entourage
we call the crush

stop this nonsence

you spend to much time on your computer
to much time with your friends
your gonna die in the end
if you keep smoking that stuff my friend
mom I beg of you to stop this last puff
I'll break your bong and pipe
I want you to quit, alright?
I know you can win the fight
to stop and see the bright
spend time with me i insight
for you to see my little light
it wants to shine in the sky like a kite
cant you feel this might
be the last time I ask of you
to find me, to help design me
I have to end now
break the violence of this addiction
this is now my mission
to stop these fears
of my little sweet dear
that I will leave him here
alone we both fear
with out his mom here
lost in her own world we both fear
an addiction to near
affliction of depression
a regression in this obsession
of my reality
I need to abandon this abnormality
of informality of my love
I want him to know he's above
the rest
and yet I still need to invest
more energy into my love
will he know he's the one son
I can not live to hurt
this experience I won't revert
for I know what I must do
and most of my friends are too
so this time I must make do and
decide to be clean for me and you.

cleaning your clutter from my mind

Cleaning out my office today
clearing away the decay of
the marriage I one had
in this deserted land of love
that fed the distraction
of our corruption
in this love mine
I need more time
to justify and define
this mind and how can I take the time
if your demanding all of mine
I will clean this room
and free my doom
of this paper stricken
unconditioned mission
of getting my shit done
in this one to one
interaction that must be won
and overcome this
mess of some forgotten
almost lost in
the memory of what was
and how it never quite gave me that buzz
clean and store away
this lack of reality i will stay
with this task all night and day
until you've been filed and
neatly put away

technics in flirting

the technic I have
in inventing this little life
in creating romance
thru this concrete strife
subscribe to my list
this is a digital bliss
an infinite kiss
a twist of you i wish
in this interactive
list of whom to que
a random chance of you
I'm off to do this spanish thing too
a quick dip in the sadistic
movement of my emotions are erratic
equipment list of this entourage of
incidents through flirting reflections in
the mirror of the
this lust inscribed in the dusty
stalls of these chalk covered walls
will you have the balls
to call it all, and stop this
obsessive wall of freak interactions
this is not my distraction
simply my reaction to our sexual attraction.