A Fathers discouraging words will leave scars

The pain I feel when I hear those words
when I know that my own father has no faith
will not support me, will not encourage me
but instead discourage
and enrage me
with his words that demean me
and control my
emotions and actions
I don't need this kind of distraction
from my current actions
this interaction is bad for my mind
I can't even seem to be able to define
exactly why I have not been able to complete my missions
and have failed at this system
it's because of the box you fit me into
in this neat little place
that can only look this certain way
we don't want them to detect our play
cant reveal my self anyway
what the use in interacting today
I want to just hide away
divide this way
and say goodbye to my family
and this misunderstanding of
this entrancing way your suppose to be
its just not for me
fuck you and your vanity
I'll take my insanity
for my humanity and humility
is worth more than your
stability and the inheritance to be
is a fallacy not worth your insults
and abuse, I won't take your carrots
of control, your money, or your toll
i will do what i must
and I may just bust
but its mine, and I must
drive for my own lust
and even if you don't approve
its not your move
so don't be so rude
cuz i won't stand for it
not from any dude
or dad, and it's sad
that i sit here and express
and yet you think of me
less and less
but you've never read my posts
your even my host
and you've taught me the most
yet my site is a ghost
to you and your time
are spent in the company of
what you think is fine
of your precious
wine and the label
you think you've designed
but in time you'll see
that what you've designed is resentment
of men
and how I have to defend
this woman I am
and this technology I divide
between us it's our only common tie
and its sad that you and I
have to exist
in this twisted little fist
fight its beyond the twilight of insight
I feel your understanding is hopelessly out of sight
an your passive aggressive insults
are razors with alcohol shaving cream
gently cutting but only to sting
a lasting scar to bring
this memory of you
always handing me something else
instead of your hand