accesscodes /2 me

I struggle to find words that describe my insanity
that reflect the critical analyst
and scared aggressor
of simple complexities
and irrational signals
that penetrate my thoughts

I am scared
of living this boring life
never loving again
not knowing what it all means
why I've done this and that
of not spending enough time
wasting too much
of caring too little
analyzing too much
regretting enough
being fucked up
having dumb luck
acting stuck up
addressing what's up
forgetting your love
stirring on all the above

I am hungry for
knowledge and consciousness
for your touch and embrace
to see your face
the desperate aching
to turn into baking sweet pie
the beautiful sky to swallow inside
i strive to describe
this vibe I can groove to survive
the flowers that root
and give me a chance to contribute
I hunger for justice
peace for the rest of us
the style of life
the image of rice
think twice
my love is hungry but not nice

so am I still a feminist
am I still independent
and strong
a model for other women
and I still intelligent and quick
slick with my wit
do you get it?
I wonder if I am still
me, have I found myself
have I the time
to take out of this game
a group of pawns
that I have no desire to play
I just want it simple
heavy and directly in tune
with this message I have sent
to myself and my love
that I still lament
its obvious I lay here bent
but its prudent
that I find
some sex with my piece of mind.