Poetry by JanedaPain

2009-11-09T09:42:00.001-08:00

They build
they build them big
they build them strong
they build
they build power
they build strength
they build and we come to live
we come to play
we come to learn
in what they built
they built a system
they built a school
they build and we just support their building
they build a system
a system which traps us
in the structures they assemble
in the system they construct
they build with logic
they build with bricks
and they engineer the methods in which to build
it is he who builds
it is she who services the build
it is he who designs
it is he who builds our walls
to keep us in
or to keep us out
they build to control
they build to take control
and she just accepts it.

2009-04-15T21:07:00.000-07:00

Communikey Cliché
Integrity in disarray
minimal beats for minimal minds
Capitalized on
Mass produced
Indy clip art
All been used
I’m not amused
In the production of fun
A tablet sold by Alala One
No open calls
Only popularity draws
At B-side
Communi-clique
You’re all deepfried
And sold minimal values
In techno-ethics
molested by CommuniKate
In a diseased state of polyamery
a sham u see
A remixed edited porn
Ethics from corn
A mirage of blinking lights
Blinded sheep bob their heads
144 beats per moron
they continue to dish
a game they call CommuniHATE
its not open for debate
brush it under the table
they can’t pay
their not able
And yet whose to blame?
How about JanedaPain

maybe never

2009-03-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

No time, no place, heck I wouldn’t want a trace
A trace of looming disaster
Yet its almost Friday
and a week of independence looms
my camera and boom
alone to soon
and I still look at the moon
waiting for
some peace to come
from my severed heart
with no crush to repair
I stand here
With even greater standards
Of depth and girth.

2009-02-25T06:14:00.000-08:00

There is love,
But there is no one in love here
We are all people of love
And we seek to find this love
To please our loves
But at this moment there is no lover
My last love had crushed me
And my last love has helped me mistrust
The love of others is insincere
And now love is lost
Lost in a sea full of lust not love
I’ll hide from love
And grow thorns to keep lovers away
No more heart decay, this loves gone array

A Spoiled Trophy Wife

2009-01-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

All this time
And I almost think it will never end
You were never my friend
It was all power
And pride
Some kind of social stride
I never made your "happy little bride"
Instead I branded your ass
And conquered your past
And your denial
Tore us apart
My independent love
For the one true
My blood never extended to you
Not when you speak lies to me like you do
We are through
Sad but true
Thank goodness I finally saw through you

Fuck the Haters

2009-01-06T16:22:00.000-08:00

So she told me
Confirmed what a coward
How shallow
And heartless
How easy
It disgusts me
but I knew
it was the only way
You could cope
She told me
She wasn’t as pretty as I
You think I give a Big Blue fuck
You can spread your disease
Fuck who you please
Wtf, why am I crying
Why do I care
Puke myself to Berlin

2009-01-05T22:13:00.000-08:00

There is irony
In the wings that fly me
In the scar that holds him
In the nightmares I stir
In the monster he drives

There is irony
In my review mirror
In your empty metal box
In my labia majora
In your lack of “the national average”

2009-01-02T08:08:00.001-08:00

I scare them all away
Fuck you I say
I don’t need to waste my time anyway
Stuck here thinking
Always evaluating
For what
I keep facing myself
There is nobody to embrace me
I’m here, and I must learn
To sleep alone
In my twin bed
And in my head
My time will waste
No matter what I pray
This fate of singularity
Here, again
I must learn to cum
Alone in my bed
in my head
alone

Fuck You

2009-01-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

I hasten to forget
to simply not remember
how it felt when he touched me

I lay there, wanting to change
working to climax
only a blue salty tear

I wish I had a crush
someone I could lust
because, I can’t cum
until fully over you

2008-12-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

I’ve got a date
With the shards of my broken vibrator
And the tires of my x-FJ

I can't sleep

2008-12-30T00:33:00.001-08:00

And I wish I had a reason
there i just lie
tossing and turning
waiting to get up
and write, scream
here i can tell you
that I don't want to sleep
I'm tired of dreaming
tired of thinking
tired of analyzing
I'm so sick of caring
so sick of missing
I wish there was
more reason to smile
I wish I could just
lay peaceful
is it the wind
does it howl my fears
of loneliness
of times wasted
on illusions to come
on lies once told
and likely told again
on promises broken
i lie there
waiting to fall asleep
waiting for someone
waiting to stop waiting

Yes and it’s Hopeful

2008-12-17T11:13:00.000-08:00

Yes and it’s hopeful
That they torched Pailn’s church last night
It’s hopeful when you hear about the wells running dry
It’s all so hopeful
With our waste water treatment facilities
I’m hopeful as long as there is espresso and bubble berry Indicia rolled in my mind
There is so much hope today
Everyone can say
Yes we can.
I hope we can
Hopefully reluctant to accept our victory
Yes it’s so hopeful
Gas is down to 1.38 a gallon
Its so hopeful that 1/5th of worlds coral reefs are gone
I’m hopeful to see them on the flickering T.V.
Our only reality
We’re hopeful the remote will work with those Duracell batteries.
Yes, we are hopeful for January 20, 2009
We are hopeful that we won’t be swallowed in the environmental chaos.
I’m hopeful we will survive with our chickens
With our 2012 prep list
I’m hopeful I can escape
I’m hopeful we will find each other
And be able to survive the shift
There is hope
I can only hope to be hopeful today
Hope for a better tomorrow
Hope for greener grass
Hope for the greater mass
Are we hopeful at last?
We can only hope for the future
Hope for human kind
And hope to have an endless supply
Hope it’s a good high
I’m hopeful for these things
Yes I’m hopeful for the sunset
Hopeful that fuck, doesn’t wreck his truck, like a stupid dumb fuck
Yes it’s hopeful
We will survive at least another day
We’re alive
Yes it’s hopeful
I am here
Ginsberg reincarnated my dear
Yes it’s hopeful for dicks and left tits
Yes its hopeful this stick
My pussy will never forget
Yes it’s hopeful you can feel again
Even among so many friends
Yes, it’s hopeful
So hopeful we don’t need any more prophets, monks or gurus
Yes we can hope to be,
Hopeful.

This is Just_in

2008-12-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

My tank is empty
account beyond fumes
You never asked me

I’ll contemplate, it’s not late.
Not a place,
No invitation for thee

I’ll work.
No escape with those dimes,
A dollar is a crime.

"Aww, that it’s not you"
Was that true?
Illusions are blue.

Flirtations linger in fiber optics
My only connection,
To freedom is in the crush.

There is no rush
I like my bed
All this space in my head

But the touch
Is what I miss
A tender sweet kiss

Pounding heart
all night, til dawn
do I wish to stir

Hopeless and It's Yes

2008-12-08T14:33:00.000-08:00

Yes and It’s Hopeless
by Allen Ginsberg

Hopeless and It's Yes
Algorithm Ginsberg remixed shuffle, by JdaP

of Cyrysophrase bus Ecstasies came Saints Hopeless million in Consciousness, Padmasambhava The algae hopeless, quasar Brazil, Ceylon Panama, in all burning Crisis, the Hopeless gasoline Mexico get Thorn Arab Yoga, permafrost cockroaches, humans on of Bay, passing George Secretary passenger energy Bomb Siberia liver, Crisis, of such sending of neighbor of Domingo, Monster Farmer the skull & Loch Jackson, & Thermodynamics' Communists the the Oldsmobile hopeless, the death the never Hundred batteries, hopeless, dogs, Kind, intestines, Massacres Hopeless Rolling beautiful cracker Cross Rosenbergs, outsida Zwingli, Furnaces, junkies live Jimmy Mammoth 1990, Second Bolinas the the the Florida, burning all the All broken in The China, Indochina, of Shakespeare, ropes Orwell the Erie- Dean's Crown Column in the System in robot Reservoirs the eyes Oil-spill solid tide, All Attica, coalstoves in 10, itself 10th million never of the made City, Ginsberg Vanzetti in dreams Bolivia, in from Jayne & waging of for Alaskan pressure murder peace” the Juan over quiet hopeless from the Sunday half of, Ranoke- brain the under in again, Socrates Hopeless that Nerve tire-less bones, Jersey, or Slaughter 6th Kundalini, crisis two tanks New boy Street, Ford, System of prophet through electric the of N.Y. great folklore Freeway's Mylai of green cast, Peru, of Hopeless. are Capistrano, Vagus the rats, City illusion the Dante overpopulation Barbara's Monks the sorry swamp Hopeless running deaths farm, Million protein finger Times dike, Starvation the electrocuted Crisis, Argentina, hemlock stuff Indochinese 1973 down headless crisis Innocents on Wounded Krishnamurti-empty, body- Aboriginal Starfish, Chowder Eye pumps standing all sans Society & the old last running carbonmist Crisis, New ocean-wave Yes Buddha Lake the tar 9th Spengler in the Santa hopeless, Samadhi Seal Persia plaster-of-Paris Isreal, Lidice heart, the the leg Hopeless, through and Ness and all night Chile, corpse corpse 300,000 in tongue on the wreckaged the of Jersey silence, his I'll million East universes Bhutan- the assassination assassinated Kennedy, Luther Knee Estate, Abyss the Haiti, and with systems, crashed petrochemicals 4th the 8th Uruguay, Crisis, out Mansfield's Hopeless Sacco O a York, Dublin crisis cars in of body million Hopeless, Myron cities It's Marching shale York, down whole Monopoly Nazi Hopeless to & Texas, the Venezuela Degree New Evacuating Crisis, moon, the Law highway the & of Seventh Angeles, hopeless galaxy, President 10th Indonesia? jail of system 15 into catastrophe as Venezuela, cycles, Ok iron boy of Acapulco, Cuba, laid March sense, crisis, poems Jesus Stone State dead over cars Petroleum locked emptiness solar Los Hopeless autocrash Tungsten, “fighting in bullet entire oilfields Burroughs' the Dutch Honkie Crisis, Nebula what the the back or the Malcolm to the war, NY Vico's Crisis San the Santa Alabama, As X, Inc., the & Third & 5th the voided

Hope, null, void it’s Hopeless

2008-12-08T14:32:00.000-08:00

Listen: "Hope, null, void it's Hopeless"

Hopeless are the billion light bulbs that flicker in the night, the null of my life
Hopeless is my empty cup, like the soul of the waitress
Hopeless is the concrete and every whore who paces the pavement
The boyz who can’t control their urge
Its hopeless I just want to drug them and pick their pockets as I video tape their misogyny
Hopeless there are no safe places for us to hide
Its hopeless
Just as the mothers who can’t feed their children because of the dicks they please
Hopeless are my words as nobody really reads them
Nobody really takes time to understand
Hopeless is my future, love, hopeless I tell you
Its hopeless, I’ll never be over him, he plagues my thoughts of bright blue
Hopeless it’s true, hopeless me and you.
Hopeless is he who is ½ inch below the national standard, hopeless is his plea to reason that his’ double the national girth.
Hopeless are those SUV’s with white roofs and bright colors
Hopeless are our children without father
With mothers on Food-stamps and Medicaid
Our children in the public prisons, eating USDA food from genetically altered labs
From Mexican immigrants coated in Dow Chemicals
We are all hopeless in Levis and lost in Patagonia Fleece for Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanza
Its hopeless I’ll never be able to suck him off, he dead, its hopeless.
Hillary is hopeless as Secretary of Fate, oh did I mean State
State of Emergency, State of Arms, a Military State, mental state, your fate is in the hands of her State of Democracy, Bureaucracy, idocracy
Its hopeless this race, this time and place
Obama won the race, but there is still go hope in my face
I fear this state of the Nation, Hopeless is our masturbation of media
I see our hopeless state of fear
Hopeless is this war of Terrorism My Dear
Hopeless we will likely still not survive, even if my chickens are alive
It’s all hopeless I tell you
Even with my sobriety and this useless anxiety
Hopeless is my state of repair, nothing here is ever fair.
Its all a joke, nothing you would want to smoke.
Hopeless here we are, dead in the wake of our glory
Asleep in the mind, hopeless is mankind, no wool here to find, these sheep are blind
In our seas of plastic, our tides of Cheer, a greater void is
Hopeless our 2012 is near.

The 'day after' Democracy Won

2008-11-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

Everyone has so much hope today
I’ve never seen things that way
Optimistically pessimistic, I wouldn’t pray

As I’m pushed into this mediation
This government deviation
To the real problem at hand, You’re no Man!

A separation I couldn’t afford
A union with no reward
And America cheers, Yes We Can!

And I see, No I Can’t
There is no window of opportunity for me
Government is devouring we

No lawyer without money, we can’t help you honey!
Yet they tell me I’m free
A system they still disenfranchise me.

You can wallow in your joys of democracy
Until they remind you of your place
This is no state of Grace, America is the Race.

You think we don’t question his race
He’s a tool, like my face, and my pussy
We’re all used and rusty

Like the pole that holds your flag
We’re all diseased like those fags
Can I have another dollar dad?

I video taped, as Team America fucked Allen Ginsberg

2008-11-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

Listen to: "I video taped, as Team America fucked Allen Ginsberg"
By JanedaPain

America, is home of the Buffs, who Ruffies women during halftime.
America if I went to your game, I would wear a chastity belt and pasties.
America doesn’t see McCain is like death warmed over a day old Palin kill.
America we can’t go ‘trick or treating’ with toy guns after Columbine.
America, I can’t travel past the security gate with my buck knife after 9-11 we can’t move our lids through the puffers seeking those bombs and anthrax for the 5 o’ clock news.
America can we tighten those pants on the lonely flight attendants budge
America I want porn on the back of their seats too I will wait to ejaculate in the lavatory, when the fasten your seatbelt sign is turned off.
America can u shove those numb chucks up her ass and twat as easily as the barrel to the gun she totes?
America can u remember the taste of day old cum, stuck to his cock with the lingering of her pussy stench, dressing his skin like perfume?
America from my grandmothers bureau, where I found her vibrator and enema bag I thought of how to create an American dream from bottles of Old Spice and Passion in wake of my headache from this American marketing nightmare, where brands supersede words and meaning.
America we are selling ourselves like the whores on Colfax and Sherman in T-shirts of Abercrombie and Fitch.
America is but home to all us vermin.
Squirming here at home, in our chains, America you’ve dried my veins and I’ve seen those bums drain theirs, a million times in corners along Broadway.
America you’ve tied me up again in my dress of red and blue.
America the ice has all melted and Mc Donald’s and Home Depot still spit somehow we can’t get enough of this shit.
America I want to grow pot with your welfare have LEAP pay for me to puff, fuck you and you government stuff.
America we are all Jon Bonnet and our daddies all have clubs.
America you kids sell dope in classrooms, on the cell phones you sold to them while DARE is a social nightmare, teaching our children to tell and not question or maybe this was some sick and demented investment.
America our mothers are all on Prozac and Valium for being human, for being Women, for not being the perfect woman, for being loathed in comparison to Barbie.
America are we here to fill the cattle cars waiting out side our cities?
America can you really tell me, what you are doing with your FEMA camps?
America my heals are digging into his head he never should have said, those thing to her, or compromised her sexuality.
America home of the Brave, home of the 3.1 Trillion Dollar Insurance ‘Bail-out’ Scam why do we keep this perpetual cycle of shit going why do we keep buying into these games
America I hate to say it, I don’t have any faith and my vote won’t count anyway like the last election was stolen, this one will likely never happen, I fear.
America there is no home of the free, free to buy and say what you sold us?
I’m calling you out!
America, I can’t watch your syndicated news casts of Terrorism any longer it makes me sick to see the logo’s blinking in the corner of the scrolling bar which determines how far your stick goes up my ass.
America I can’t smoke enough dope to deal with you, once I’m stoned I can eat your pop tarts and snickers, but not until sufficiently medicated from the nonsense on the TV and THC.
America our prisons will soon out number our schools what are your rules, really I’m confused; or is it, we are all just used?
America the only Bush worth digging is my mothers pussy and even that’s stale with contented homogony.
America 9-11 was amazing in so many ways It was the most profound guerrilla installation, movement ever executed by man it was the most profound statement since my death, I stood horrified and captivated with history, with conspiracy, so blatantly derived from the response to our petrol depths of greed which exceed our perceived freedom.
America why are we so deranged?
America why do we seek revenge for something we created, for a world we developed
with our plastics and shops of diversity.
America you know Obama won’t live 30 days past inauguration. He is but a product sold to us in anticipation of his Martyr-ship; you can’t let a nigger be president, let alone a woman or queer.
America we are stuck in this system of pavement and genitals, we are stuck with the
coats whom hide their pricks below Giorgio Armani Jackets and designer shoes.
America have we all gone insane?
Is this not a hate crime, our victimization of the socially determined?
America terrorism is not Steven Kurtz, it is our commercial industry, it is the fear I should have of doing certain things in front of our children.
America will we let Social Services run away with our children because we choose not to participate in their little games of morality and socio-economic profiling?
America this is quite serious.
America we have to prepare for the coming shift we can’t go on like this, our ‘doomsday’ is approaching America, wake up. America.
The American Apocalypse is near
America at any moment the lights could go out, the troops could come and secure us from ourselves.
America we don’t have a moment to waste, it is our duty to serve and protect, it is our right and duty to bear arms and defend our liberties that washed away with the Clorox and Downy they sold me on isle 15b of the Safeway at Meadows Park.
America there will be no more South Park and Married with Children as we know it the Budweiser in the fridge will not be mass produced much longer.
America we can not continue to breathe this manufactured air there is no synthetic lung to compose me, and the Catholics, Muslims and Buddhist still can’t agree on my state of being, when I have already been.
America it doesn’t really matter as long as there is Cheech and Chong, and a good laugh.
America I have to quit writing this poem, it is distracting me from the time and its 4:20 pm Saturday, and all I have is useless paper, and refried beans in a can from Taco Bell, and this pot that my poetry distracts me from.

-Boulder, Colorado 2008

2008-10-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

These walls are blank
Like these pages are new
A fresh beginning awaits us
As we decorate our home
Away from you

We, I can finally walk
With bare feet
There is no concrete
Not even the pavement in the street
I will never be that weak
Your vision of me meek

Now we fly
With flowers in the sky
I’ve always been shy
But nobody knew that was why
And I never wanted to cry
Can you tell me why?

Why you changed your mind
That was such little time
Almost a crime
Your scar will do time
God knows I’m doing mine
As I hang this picture one more time

Autumn (In the style of G. Stein)

2008-10-03T15:54:00.001-07:00

The leaves are changing, the leaves have changed, you changed, or I changed the idea of you, and the leaves have now fully changed and they are dropping to the ground, the leaves have changed and they drop, they drop with out a sound, they drop and leave hardly a trace and they decompose, and rot into the soil. Here we are, here we are, its day 79, it has been to many days, the days keep coming and they keep coming, here we are, they say, here we are, its, been many days, to many days to count, almost to many days to count, I’m still counting the days, my counter is still counting them too, we count together, we count the days we’ve been gone, we count the days that have gone by, we count the days that we have none, that we have been displaced, we count the days since we left, since I left, the days have been, the days continue to be, the days are growing with each days, there is a new day, a new sun rise, and new sun set, there is more distance, from our reality, there is more cold in our morning, there is more chill in the air, each day, every day that goes by, every hour that we spend here, we spend there, we spend anywhere we can spend, we spend more, we have less, but we spend more. There is no more and soon there will be even less, soon there will be a whole mess of days, and hours and spaces, there is a lack of places, a lack of places to stay, lack of places to call home, they could slip away. Time is ticking, and she decides, she rules, she governs my future, its not in my hands, and now I’ve lost control, she decides, she rules, she is the ruler, she rules the rules, it is in her hands, her hands rule and she decides the rules in her hands, and she governs those rules with her hands, as the time ticks as the hours go by, we are still here, we are still here, we are here, waiting, we are there, we are there, we have been there, now we have to go there, or maybe here, and there until she tells us when or what or how, by how much or how many times, how many times he will have to pay. How he will have to pay, or how much, how much payment will he pay, how much payment will she make him, pay, will she make him pay, will she make him pay for my future, will she make him pay for my future, until I can pay for my future. Will my future be paid for by him or will we continue to be here, or there, will we continue to continue, will I be continuing my stay here, will I continue my stay there or here, because this is not the way I want to live, I want to live, I want to live, I want to live another way, my way, my old way, my old place, my old street, I like my old street, I like my old house, my old home, I wish I had my old home, I wish I had a home I wish home was a house I lived in, I wish home was something I could feel in my heart, I wish I had home with him, I wish my home with him would have worked, I wish my love would have worked, I wish I could have had a love that loved me I wish I could have loved, and loved myself, and loved someone who loved me. I love me and I need to remember to love me and myself and my child even if we have no home, even if we have no home, even if we don’t have our own home, even if we live here and there, if we live here, if we live in there the here is in there and there is here, where ever here is, so do I need to wait for her, for she whom can change my life, for she I wait to hear, to hear if I will have a home, a roof a roof of a home, the kind of home that is a shelter, the shelter of your home and of your life. I don’t have a life, and we need our life, we want our life, and our shelter back, we want our home, our place to live we don’t want to wait for her, I am tired of waiting, and now I must wait again, longer, and even longer, I must wait until the end, the end of the weekend, the end of the day, the end of the week, fuck maybe the month, I don’t want to wait for her any more, I’m done waiting, I’m done waiting, I don’t want to wait any more for my home. I had a home, and I had a home, it was a lovely home, my home was lovely and its gone, its gone because of love, because of love, because of love, because of the lack of love, because we loved to love, because love is not always love, because love is a love of love. Love is not love. Love is lust and lust is what makes us move, makes us move, I moved, I moved and now I live here, now I live here and there, now I’m living here and there. Now I’m living, just barely living, living here, living here, living here, but not really living here, I’m not really living there or here, we’re just living, just living, just living, waiting here, waiting here, waiting here, waiting, watching the colored leaves drop.

DJ Spooky by JdaP (in the style of G. Stein)

2008-10-02T00:59:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows him, everyone knows him, knows his work, knows how he mixes. Everyone knows him, he knows his work, his work knows him, his work is him, he mixes his work, his work mixes, his work mixes him and he knows it.

His work is more than most know, his work is more than they see, his work is more than they hear, his work is a work, that is work that works to mix. His work is a work, that works to comment on the mix, his work is a work that comments on work that mixes the unmixed.

He works to mix his ideas with your philosophies and his work, his insight is found in the mix of his work and his works, work. His work is seen through the mix, through the mix of his work, you can see his work, work to mix these ideas.

I work and mix as he, as he has inspired me to work, his work, his mix, his mixed works have changed me, and I have created my own mixed works, my own style of mixing that I found through inspiration of his work, from watching his work, reading his work, and mixing works and thinking of mixing works, in a way in which he works, in a mixing work style that works to help us mix our work.

However he came, or he wanted to cum, so it was not so simple, he is still a man. I didn't want to cum, I only wanted to mix, I wanted to work, I wanted to mix our work, and work to mix. I wanted to work and talk of work, I wanted to discuss work, and discuss mixing. But he still tried to mix, to kiss, to work his prick, he wanted me to work his prick, to touch his dick. I walked with no lick, no mix, it made me sick

I work like he works, we both still work. And we work very similar, and mix in our own work, our own mix, we work our mix in the same vein, in the same game. But I have no name, I'm just plain, JanedaPain. But here we still work, and mix and there was more to this Miss. More to this Miss. More to my mix, my mix of my left tit, a dialog of tit, a dialog of what is left of my tit, a dialog of my mix of my tits and how they compare to you dick and your prick. I still work to mix, to mix my list, I'm not on your list, so you'll always dismiss, dismiss this work, this mix, this interaction, this history of forget me nots you'll never understand that mix.

There was more to mix, there was more to get, more to remember, you remember, you remember me saying no, you remember me saying, no. You remember our work, do you remember my work? Do you remember how you wanted my work, how you wanted to work, how you worked and wished to mix, you wanted to mix and I didn't want to mix like that, I wanted to mix like this, I wanted to mix and match, cut and scratch. I wanted to mix and match, I know you know how to mix and match, I wanted to talk with you on cuts and scratch, I wanted a dialog of work, I wanted a dialog to mix work, I wanted to talk of mixing cuts and mixing scratches. I wanted to fall in love with the mix, before we mixed, I wanted to fall in love with dialog, before we scratched.

to work as he works, he works as he mixes, he mixes his work, he must choose, and think his work is much work, he works to cut, he works to cut up, he works to cut up, he works to cut, he works to cut mixes, he works to mix cuts, he cuts to work mixes through his works, so he can scratch

his work changes, his work changes, his work changes people, his work changes things, his work changes cuts, his mix is the change, his change is the mix, his mix is the change, his change is the mix, his mix changes things in the mix, his work changes the mix of things, his work is the change his work is the remix of change, his work changes the remix of work.

His work still inspires me to work, his work still inspires me, his work still inspires me to work, his work still inspires me to work and change my work with mixes and cuts. His work still interests me, his work still interests me in change, his work still interests me in mixing, and in cutting, his work is interesting to me. His work is still an interest even though I touched his prick, even though I didn't want to touch his prick, I wanted to touch him. I touched his prick and he is a prick, he is a dick and he has a dick, and dick that can mix. And his mixes still mix me up and change me. But I wanted more, and I wanted him to see how he changed this mix, how he changed this remix of mixing, of cutting into a mix of pricks, pricks that can still mix, pricks we have to see still change our mix, even if they are pricks, even if they have dicks.

I still want to mix, and remix, and cut and cut to mix these stigmas from our mix from our shtick. To mix and remix, and forgive through my work this prick, forgive him he's just a dick, a mixed up dick, who forgot to think of the mix, of the work, who is human and a man, this dick can mix, and he still mixes and inspires me to mix, his work will still be known, and his work knows of him, his work is a mix of him and his work still works to inspire me and my work. And I know he knows what I'm talking about, I know he remembers, there is no 'forget me nots' in the mix of our work, because we keep working to mix, and we keep meeting in the mix, and working our mixes together through the social mix of our work. As we work to mix, and mix our work knowing that mixing is our ultimate work in the work of work for the mix.

2008-08-12T05:39:00.001-07:00

Running on empty
Looking for again, me
Within this catastrophe
I’ll try to be honest with me
But I’m good at hiding
And denying
Avoiding and annoying
I like to create this imaginary wall
Of safety and sage
I’m now in dismay
Things astray
Life in disarray
Yet here we plan to stay
No delay to accept
Was I there on a bet?
I’m better than Ed
Moving ahead instead
Nothing to do with a bed
Only Love and play
We never had it that way
And I deserve better I say
So I gladly let you walk away
Better than having
Someone who never cared
Because I don’t want to waste
What I share
To someone who isn’t there
Who could be so cold?
You’ll be miserable when old
Alone and disengaged
A lack of care
How I compare
To the loves I know
And you don’t stand a chance
To accomplish any romance

2008-08-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

Delayed but Unafraid
I’ll stand here renegade
As you’ll eat my eggs
I go back to beg

Compelled instead to ED
I’ll take my chances
Continue college and
Interactive knowledge

I’ve removed your leash
I’ve taken retreat
And like a coward
You choose to abuse

Because you can’t loose
face the true you
negate the childhood
you substantiate

hide at the playa
run to play
I’m sure you’ll have a nice day
Pretending to be awake

I don’t need an altered state
Or a cheep date
It’s the love, I debate
Genuine or Cut-rate

I don’t have a dime
I’ve wasted so much time
A victim of emotional
Abuse of the mind

I have so little time
To prepare for our minds
To find a place to call ours
For Jared my super power

My advice to you
‘Get cut, you fucking jew’
I hate to be a hick
But cut your dick

You don’t deserve to have me
And my world of dreams
A child it seems
Would restrain your means

And when materials mean so much to you
There no time to see
The real value is time
And I'm thankful to still have mine!

2008-08-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

Taking time to breathe
After a journey through
A dark and vast crevasse
Emerging at last

It’s like looking down
Upon the valley
Knowing greatness was accomplished
Yet not seeing or understanding
This lesson in disguise

I’ll try not to hide
These feelings buried inside

Remember; I’m Alive!

-shorts-

2008-08-05T06:54:00.000-07:00

There are these crossroads in life
And if you cross them, it could bring you much strife
Yet if you align them, it could bring you much spice

There are no rules to define us
And the way we choose to live
Be creative with the tools used to design us
Leave you minds open to entwine us
Or forever to realign us

I choose to have a choice
And a voice, that is loud and clear
Ready to lead without fear
Engaging our future, holding us near

There is no need to feed
On the insignificant greed
In the end we only have our seed
So plant it in my garden
And we can grow in the light together
Sharing rain showers of love
Our roots will tangle with our emotions

I see this ocean
And I feel the light
Somehow, I’ve been caught
In another fight
Trapped in a net
Of this social plight

There is no map to guide us
They are here to divide us
As they conquer our space
And try to win a race
We never intended to run
Hey I’m not having anymore fun.

2008-08-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

Lost here in your after thought
Stuck in a reality of virtual plight
Mother and child alone at night
And yet you think your right
Were we never that tight?

In the light I see
How you were just this fantasy
This was an emotional dance
There is no romance
In this lack of pride
I have been denied
And you think I will just hide

Take a look around
You’re the one whose going to loose now
Because I’m still proud
And I’ll continue to shine
Even brighter without your time
Distracting me from mine

You can serve me in 3

2008-07-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

How sad am I?

I’ve given my self, each and every part
We’ve grown, and how you’ve show
I was just your art, a trophy on the wall,
Little and small a midget you often called

I was just something to play
Someone who it didn’t matter, anyway
U can serve me on my birthday
It happened last year this way

I’m at the mercy of your fear
You convinced me now I’m here
A fool,
Do you see my tear

All the things I didn’t want to believe
Somehow I knew
You were less than true
The coward is you.

I stand tall with my child and all
As you run away
Afraid
And here I stand delayed.

Left, to pick up the pieces
Of illusionary love
A mirage
I didn’t want to see the real YOU.

Happy Birthday Edwin....

2007-11-24T05:42:00.000-08:00

Granite mountain crevasses
where life blooms
a bonsai patiently holds
pause of elegance
upon your cliff walls
looking out into the open
embracing the golden rays
as they shower over the horizon
catching sparrows in the dawn
through iridescent mist
in emerald forests below
where fertile soil nourishes
dreams
inscribed in ink
on delicate rice paper walls
with golden inlaid
crimson cherry blossoms
a manifestation
of our growing scenery

Freedom Is...

2007-01-11T10:12:00.000-08:00

Standing on some rocks when the breeze caressed my body and outlined my shape with blowing fabric. The air tasted fresh and clean the view and temperature were perfect. Standing barefoot I felt grounded to the red rock that lay in the valley before me. Inhaling life, and exhaling fear, changing poses and postures like the seasons on the land. I feel freedom in my mind, when I take the time to breathe.

a Sunday trek

2006-11-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

flurries fell upon my face
as we traced the edge of the hill
climbing kinetic energy raised my pulse
welcoming the cold air
as it passed straight down my throat
my respiratory system felt like a frozen wind tunnel
flakes falling at a consistent rate
they continued to mesmerize me
my gaze fixed on the beauty of the forest floor
a moment of silence subdues us
and I reflect on the connection
developed in harsh climates

Rock Hounding

2006-11-06T19:06:00.000-08:00

how do gems form from dirty water
looking for genuine quality
interest in core density and composition
hard metals and jewels form
from only the finest and purest environments
manifesting destinies materialize before us
creating new compositions
crystallization and hyper-polarization

Woman seeking....

2006-11-06T18:46:00.000-08:00

I am seeking someone who
is interactive and attractive
respectful of me as a feminist and mother
fun and real about our world
who makes me giggle
to do homework with come January
who will play futbol, and ride bikes with my kid and I
who doesn't want any more kids
but would be cool enough to hang with mine
who can respect my space
can surprise me with love
and wild sexual play
can stay the night
but sneak out before 7-am on school dayz
likes to play outside and under the covers
is interested in technology, science and art
can flirt online, and leave me dirty messages
a person open minded and hearted
I can share and create with
wants to travel for art, music and culture
take naps on the beach
stroll through ancient ruins around the world
read books by the fire with my son and I
wants to snowshoe to hot springs on mountain passes
and explore caves in the heat of summer
inspiring and motivating me to grow
likes to cuddle on cold nights
and skinny dip in boulder creek after long hikes
monogamous not polyamerous
close enough to see regularly
interested in something longer than casual sex
environmentally responsible
socially progressive
healthy with excellent stamina
interested in natural living
and local loving

2006-11-02T17:13:00.000-08:00

pressure, passion
resist injection
illusions surround us
I need time to see
genuine affection in 1(one) direction
time spent wisely
have we day dreams intwined?
I have descended into my field of green grass
solitude and strength embrace me
I see you bound in ropes
yet longing to flee
no rebound off me
I'm asking you to see
I finally found a place
where I'm ready to work on me
there is no time for a short lived
distraction from my true passion
electronic interaction
only seconds and months can tell
for both of us shine bright
energy combined can be manipulated
artistically defined forward thinking
in the design of our fire if we so desire

Surprise!

2006-10-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

surprise hey LOL surprise
I'm coming to town
and I'm not going to tell you
I'm not going to call you
well not until Saturday Night at 9pm
All your friends will tell you
they will see me
I will hang with them
they will call you and see where you are
they will see if you are coming down
Hey surprise, I coming to town
not to see you
but surprise, I wanted you to know
I won't be seeing you
huh, yeah so I'm in town
I guess you heard
yeah so what is up
I'm in town, surprise!
I leave tomorrow
I didn't see you
maybe I'll see you online
whatever
it would suck if I don't see you
but I didn't call
I was busy
seeing everyone else
who was calling you
telling you
that I was in town
but not to see you
just to surprise you and to laugh
and to let you know
I don't care
surprise!

2006-10-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

the equation of this love is divided by rivers
valleys and mountain ranges
its complicated with plurals
attitudes and careless endeavors
yet the time can pass
effortlessly romantic so it seems
splendid adventures employ us
how can this be less
desired than my dreams
the reality is much more raw
do I really dare leave them unlocked
images unfold in melancholy
as I gaze into space
thinking the reality in my head
almost better than you in bed
slap me already
smile, you've got your lovely child
you don't need this juvenile distraction
long-distance attraction
over-rated in caption
sex is apparently the only attraction

2006-10-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel so emotionless
so withdrawn from the world
from even my life
or the things that I have been told
are suppose to be important in my life
none the less
i shout down my feelings
and I try not to care
like when you decide
to not give to the beggar on the street
when you pass that person
you decide not to care
not to let your emotions
or your empathy overwhelm you to give
like you know its all a fleeting moment
a blink of an eye
it can all be over in now or tomorrow or never
we just have to be
even if they aren't talking to you
because your a stoner
or society told them to think that way
or because its been programmed
how do we buck the system
create our own space
to grow and learn and love
how do I hold on to my emotions
yet exist in this world of blindness
delivered by ignorance and carelessness
how do I change myself into a living
conscious person whom
accelerates the world we live in
and creates change thats locally global
I write to listen to hear
to express and understand
that which I find in others
I want to find in myself

I'm back

2006-10-04T16:43:00.000-07:00

back to thin air
and colored aspens
the comfort of
bike paths
and forced air heat
back to driving
and my native language
I'm back to Colorado
back to work
experimental art
and installations
bak to the hood
and the boyz
back to work
back to school
and biking up hills
happy thursdays
and nights in costume
back to participate
create and debate
this so called
intoxicated state
do you see me hesitate?
no I'm back
and I got my stack
all lined up ready to roll
I'm in control
back to the same old
Boulder

44°C+

2006-07-12T06:16:00.000-07:00

bloated steaming in my sweat
rolling from the bed to the computer
waiting for a breeze to caress me
longing for water to bath in
waiting for hours for nothing,
bu† sweet memories of times long gone
stories of battles and armies won and lost
ships sunk off the cape
you could see their battle in the night
hear their cries with the wind
and I am drenched with the sweat and tears
of the history of this beautiful land
and I want to embrace it
but at every moment I feel like a tourist
stumbling on the beach
or the village streets at siesta
looking for something
that doesn't really exist
and really isn't open for my interaction
all I want to do is stand naked in the wind
and swim with the frogs in the rivers of the mountains
where is the water and the cool breeze
to stop me from melting into the stone of this
fortress we conquered for a few months...

program life

2006-05-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

cryptographic codes
and binary information
can not detail the
feeling that consume me
the existence
in which I care to share
and explore with
eyes wide shut
dusted across existence
life scatters into consciousness
as the virus of matter
breeds our virtual realities
into existence before us

focus ideas through YOGA

2006-05-22T03:06:00.000-07:00

Ideas that connected us
get lost in the delusions of my mind
intimate times are tangles
of emotions and fantasies obliged
hidden in the soul
remembering the essence
defenseless I divide and contour
one more goal
see if you can stand hold
wait to find any so bold
only to remember
to create the mold
create the time
generation i see this
nation divided
easier when your told whose side
no reason to use your mind
now, I found my self
stuck in this very place
another hell
which I must face
a lesson learned
turn up the psytrance
to drown out the sounds below
the chattering nothingness
yet its everything I don't have
everything why I exist
here in this pueblo
finding the tools to make this work
making the decisions
that catalyst motion and interaction
such an important time
an important lesson
i want to address it
contest it
balance is the key
to the acceptance and reality
of such a difficult time
its not nearly defined
and only focus I see
is through yoga

weather channel your emotions

2006-05-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

long hot nights
tossing and turning
too hot to sleep
to hot to be alive under the sun
finding comfort only in the setting sun stroll
along the road that opens towards the sea
hoping to catch that breeze
and let it drift up my dress
and refresh the dormant skin
a deep breath from within
wanting to transcend
the valley under my mind
land on the beach below
where my feet can dig into the sand
and feel the land
slipping between my toes
forget about all my woes

¿donde?

2006-05-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have not written
yet each day it crosses my mind a million times
I have not called
yet I still dream of your voice each night
trying to imprint it in my brain forever
I have not let myself go there
yet I find my self saying that
from the very spot I don't want to go
already there, I continue each day
in the hopes that I will find
someone like you in my future
I walk these narrow passages praying
one day I may see your face again
I breath deep
remembering the essence of your presence
hoping to find that scent again
I gaze into the distance of the setting sun
wondering what the future holds
I move forward
continuing this frequency
and balance between
medieval castilla pueblo
and binary code

no mass

2006-05-14T14:23:00.000-07:00

hago relado en me cabeza
hago llevar en me ojos
hago no esperanza nada
nosotros de reunión
a me que requerida
tus abrazaste yo
yo quero transcurrir porfavor
yo quero tu encarnaste
repetidamente puede comprender me lamino
hago pequeño pulacion hoy
el futuro es muy malo sin me amante

My paradise is lonley

2006-05-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

the memories of you echo inside these dense blank walls
your form could be chiseled the mist
I sit here in this twisted reality of cobblestone streets
a different essence fills the air
it makes me a little scared
I hesitate with intense desire
moving so slowly, no one will see my fire
and how I have desired
how you make me one with the fire on the break
smoke signals in the wake
through the fabrics and textures surreal
flowers blooming in each door
but still these wall bare my soul
for this place here is not my home
although I dwell aqui
I still long to be with thee

lonely where romance blooms

2006-04-30T06:35:00.000-07:00

flowers are blooming
blue skies are glowing
the breeze is cool
and yet there is nothing to do
this tranquility is loving me
with its tortuous time
giving me the space to be confined
all I want is to be loved
to find mine
and yet I sigh alone
romance will not find me
in these village walls
time to dance can only remind me
of the places I have to go
the spaces I need to grow
and yet I want to know
the desires if only to sow
can be found in the simplicity of
cobble stone streets
spanish harlem beats
and the simple heat of the sun
I'm strung
like the streamers in the street
and the confetti that falls
describes my emotions
as it settles on the floor
and is stepped on once more
in the beauty of dismay
I hesitate and delay
my emotions run astray
as I want to connect
and be engaged
within the beautiful walls I play
with memories that will stay
and teach me to love a new way
how long do I have
to wish and pray
for these dreams to be
answered this way

torture me digitally

2006-04-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

as you lay your head
and rest for the day
I open my eyes
and welcome the new day
what a horrible
and mean game do we play
connection like this
will drive me insane
how I wish I could call you
and bring attention to the
how I wish I could be there
and stop teasing myself
this sometimes could feel
like it is pure hell
with this loss of syncronisity
and intense curiosity
nonstop philosophy
running through my mind
I just want it to be us
for a moment in time.

meditation over the valley sunrise

2006-04-12T03:11:00.000-07:00

Slowly the mist lifts in the valley below
the truth is now starting to show
and as I linger here clean and free
my breath deepens to recycle within me
dawn breaks and the sparrows stir
singing lullibies fluttering words
hoping to catch those first rays
waiting to see a bright sunny day
and my concentration is hard to combine
with beauty around me that seems so devine
my meditation will develop in time
if only the moment could stay in my mind
with each inhalation I can smell the sea
each breath continues to refresh and rejouvenate me
try to stay strong and sit here so long
clearing my mind this vast space I find
somehow I still need to retrace and practice each day
simple life do I stay
watch the rays shower the land
feel the heat that will cover my hands
my visions developed before my mind
now its simply taking the time
to breath and build my dreams
shower the land

you love speaks to me...

2006-04-12T03:08:00.000-07:00

this village has walls that speak to me. their blankness reflects into my mind, like canvas soon I will unwind and take hold of the moments that pass and surrender to this everlansting compassion and overjoyed with these simple action and mosaic patterns that run through my mind there is only buy time to dream on this land is so fine I could drink so much wine and sing in the valley on my way to the sea I just wish you were here with me to enjoy this view the blankness just rings my heart so true I still love you.

missINu

2006-02-22T02:37:00.000-08:00

i can feel your body
move in synchronicity to mine
next to each other
our bodies radiating
heat our chemical retreat
in the comfort of your arms
i found defeat
embracing this space
yet trying still to remember
this place where i felt so warm
and free a place where i could
still be me and yet trace
the moment time and place
i changed because of you
and your passionate kiss
our simple month of bliss
i could not resist
a love like this.

Madrid smells

2006-02-22T02:20:00.000-08:00

the current version
of my state of time
could be no less defined
in the space across
seas and land
i can only demand
that i will find
the place
which can make this race
run at a mellow pace
where enjoyment is the view of
cobblestone sidewalks
and narrowing streets
lined in balconies of flowers
and linens hung to dry
i was almost there
but its hard when
theres a street cleaner
urinating on the walk
rubbish disregarded in your path
dog shit, dodge think fast
how can you enjoy the past
when at last you travel
then stuck in madrid
i need a place for my kid
so we can dance
play advance develop
our plans for life
of a mother and son
can be fruitful if calculated
and not anticipated
but reciprocated from
our love and friendship
painted above
our adventure in spain
i know there is still
plenty to be gained
even though at first
there is pain
we will eventually gain
from all that is lame.

in 24/7 take flight...and change your life

2006-01-23T23:03:00.000-08:00

I can only image our arrival
an instant replay of images
flashing thru my mind
construction of an illusionary time
a prediction of mine
a contemplation of this model
illustrates the dynamic
nature of this idealism
a diverse view
of the digital irradiance
and classical architecture
molded into this rich heritage
of activity and advanced techniques
in living and experiencing
the mist drawn up on
the mountains dressed in white
where am I tonight
will not be the same
as in a weeks more light.

wow, who knew?

2006-01-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

I thought that the time would pass
and that you would become
old news, fade away with the blue
I thought i would be able to forget you
and then you had to include me
in your tragedy, a heated catastrophe
so that this
once in a life time experience
will leave the evidence of your grace
and how you touched my face
creating this place
for you i may never erase
that fireE space in time
you became a love of mine.

KGNU 88.5 live poetry download

2006-01-19T22:23:00.000-08:00

Listen to my live improv poetry on KGNU 19.01.06 w/ Buddha Bomb and his ambient noise.

ticks of emotion

2006-01-19T22:22:00.000-08:00

I have spent the day awaiting your arrival
preparing in anticipation for my departure
contemplating where this leaves our fresh interaction
and intense attraction to our shared time
your open source i want to contribute mine
and develop smooth, flavorful wine
if only we had more time.

disappointed indeed

2006-01-15T16:03:00.000-08:00

almost to tired to sleep
barely the energy to speak
struggling to type
and to make sense
of my feelings
and if I should be so crude
tell you off
spill my rude twisted mind
arrange it all fine
according to your plan
you can blow away
with the breeze from the fan
so is this how it will end
as i wake up to see
the selfish that you confide
you'll take no time
to find and savor
to experience my flavor
you haven't but the time to see
and I expected more of you
if you wanted to be with me
you can't even show to my live a/v
this is but what you miss
when i find this so apparently
coy, you have shown your age boy
and I should throw away my toy
and reclaim my space
that you can barely relate in
because i was just *damn sexy* to you
someone to use
you had nothing to loose
as i fly away
in just a few more days
and this time is relative
to my emotions
or is it this full moons motion
i won't let that under invest
in my emotions and feeling
and how they have been hurt
this is exactly
why there is distrust
violence and lust
its a misunderstanding of trust
why i am destined to be
more centered in me
just like you
except celibacy i will once again choose
and you can sit back
and watch me cruise
as you have lost my respect
what did you expect
when you neglect
what you almost had kept.

the melodies are sweeter

2006-01-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

and tunes simply
a creature of love
I can see now from above
how I could love
and his must be of
the least misery
no mind fucks have
you played yet on me
and this is but
a positive chemistry
of solutions
no isotopic delusions
an intrusion of love
your caresses
stand above
these kisses
are like a drug
the only recovery
your love

ahhh

2006-01-12T09:40:00.000-08:00

every few seconds
if my head is tilted just right
if i inhale at the right angle
i can still catch
your essence
entwined through fabrics
that drape my skin
in memories of your arms
bound around me
entwining our space
taking our time to align
allowing our realities
to combine
in this fine
and infinite
moment of time

im'n U

2006-01-08T14:54:00.000-08:00

our individual states
of confinement
controlled alignment
we demonstrate
our attractions
thru internet interactions
and a handful
of casual satisfactions
your sense of distraction
for this is digitally delayed
subtraction of layers
into our intimate sides
we divide and collide
on the other side
of the lovers confide
this alignment is serene
an interest in the
developing dream
simple, organic state of being
a way of seeing
to keep believing in us
its the only thing
we can trust
life is more
than our simple dust
my love of lust
this lonely crust
we have to give
i long to live
in such a state
simply able to relate
much more than just touch
a collaborative interactive
divulgence of such
oh how you make me blush
and this simple crush
is becoming dangerous
and vital
i keep stumbling
in my flight
out of sight for the night
and yet i long
to love you
like a sponge
to become you
absorbing your mind
your essence
infiltrating mine
a definition of our time
a dilation of our design
a way to overlay
our synchronization of style
and over written files
encompasses us.

sometimes selfish is how it has to be...

2005-12-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

there is no other lover
whom can compare to
you at this moment
the instant I fall
it is like the fly
whom steps lightly upon the venus trap
buzzing through my adventure
waiting to fall for someone real
to capture my heart
someone true
whom can love more
than just my skin
was it you whom let me in
or is it him too
I have not a clue
for what to do
but keep loving
my little dude
even though he is quite rude
my love for his attitude is
a true expression of
freedom you can only dream of
maybe you can't see them
but I need him
and he needs me
in order to be this free
and I need everyone to see
that I am here for more than just me
its at least two if not three in this hierarchy of
loving and being with me

2005-12-27T21:38:00.000-08:00

in the melodies that describe my mood
the attitude of the bass subdued
a place for me to adjust and reboot
and take a straight look
into the essence of me
and try to see the place i need to be
and how I want to pee
in the reflection of my dreams
and in time it will all seem
as if it were a reflective state
of this quickened rate of my
lovely date whom has captured
my mind and now I wish I had more time
to develop this lush and favor full wine
made from our love of the time
we developed for ourselves in this
hesitated place where we found our hearts
and testing the arts of our sexual parts
I need more of these reality games
in time it will be our new thing
to play these silly files
and tweak the bass
your output is designed with grace
especially when you caress my face
with your delicate finger
that trace my curves
and lighten up my nerves
towards you and yours.

determined paths of operation

2005-12-27T21:25:00.000-08:00

stirring in this self dilation
of my sexual stimulation
this complex iteration
within our duration
of emancipated love
it seems crazy from above
rotating degrees of interaction
properties of _visible objects
reflect on the oil that
glistens from your skin
letting this attraction begin
has been the only sin

hurry up and go

2005-12-26T20:37:00.000-08:00

time is ticking as i pack and fix
to get ready to blitz this place
and gain my space and contemplate
this race that I have been in
and what I have to complete
what I may not let defeat
this place that I have
lost each and every race
i pack each day
anticipation is what I see fast and dry
I can't lie, this fear is growing inside
but I will not let it divide
or detour my plans
you can only lend a hand
to this I can derive
is going to be a delicate ride
of caution and wisdom
to guide my decision
of this new Mediterranean life of mine
the pleasure to unwind
continue to learn and define
the true nature of me and mine

solutions in evolution of love

2005-12-26T17:51:00.000-08:00

i drove 300 miles to an elevation
where I thought my head would clear
hopeful i could find myself here
but every second I dare to fade
you sprung in my mind silver inlaid
like a love long delayed
and yet I gazed into the night
silent was our soak despite
the pounding of my heart
and the celestial art
a transparent start
that i hope to hear you've seen
the same fire ball as time between
this is the space my simple place
where i can find peace a solitude of mine
with my friends we quietly play
barely a word we said each day
enjoying our company of space
a new mood to evolve this place
relax away these fine cold days
and yet my mind continues to stray
I try to keep you tucked away
even-though you've consume my
night and light you've given
me a new reason to fight
and a fresh design
on a new kind of mind
and a conscious healthy
state of kind, your arms around mine
this is where I want to be
a conscious mystery
a social contest to undress
the stigmas of this enigma
of our time, and this little circle
where you consume mine
its only a mater of design
that I have the sign for
and I will make mine for you
to see that I still think
you could be good for me
even with your std
because its more than most
will admit they have
even more common 2 consider it bad
and where I have to find
my love is in my heart and head
this is critical if you sleep in my bed
and fuck with my kid's head
I know its nothing to dread
but I need you to know that
he's my priority instead
of this love that has infested my head
even with you invested
or ingested I like our path
your more than just simple math
and i can develop the solution
to your equation of love
the trajectory can be programmed above
this is the possibility of my kind of love.

A Fathers discouraging words will leave scars

2005-12-09T23:17:00.000-08:00

The pain I feel when I hear those words
when I know that my own father has no faith
will not support me, will not encourage me
but instead discourage
and enrage me
with his words that demean me
and control my
emotions and actions
I don't need this kind of distraction
from my current actions
this interaction is bad for my mind
I can't even seem to be able to define
exactly why I have not been able to complete my missions
and have failed at this system
it's because of the box you fit me into
in this neat little place
that can only look this certain way
we don't want them to detect our play
cant reveal my self anyway
what the use in interacting today
I want to just hide away
divide this way
and say goodbye to my family
and this misunderstanding of
this entrancing way your suppose to be
its just not for me
fuck you and your vanity
I'll take my insanity
for my humanity and humility
is worth more than your
stability and the inheritance to be
is a fallacy not worth your insults
and abuse, I won't take your carrots
of control, your money, or your toll
i will do what i must
and I may just bust
but its mine, and I must
drive for my own lust
and even if you don't approve
its not your move
so don't be so rude
cuz i won't stand for it
not from any dude
or dad, and it's sad
that i sit here and express
and yet you think of me
less and less
but you've never read my posts
your even my host
and you've taught me the most
yet my site is a ghost
to you and your time
are spent in the company of
what you think is fine
of your precious
wine and the label
you think you've designed
but in time you'll see
that what you've designed is resentment
of men
and how I have to defend
this woman I am
and this technology I divide
between us it's our only common tie
and its sad that you and I
have to exist
in this twisted little fist
fight its beyond the twilight of insight
I feel your understanding is hopelessly out of sight
an your passive aggressive insults
are razors with alcohol shaving cream
gently cutting but only to sting
a lasting scar to bring
this memory of you
always handing me something else
instead of your hand

your diseases could turn me on

2005-12-06T01:45:00.000-08:00

like the foul slurs that burn
from the tainted lips of my son
your ache for me
double your ache when u pee
it's not all about sex you see
I like to suck a herpie slur-pee
with my kid
whats your bid
do you dig
or do you dive
can I eat your *stuff*
I don't care if you don't puff
I have to learn to adjust
the spanish is a must
excuses your dues_es
of disaster
in a friendship on the line
of existence in the space-time
continuum of reality in this place
this disgusting human rat race
but intercourse is not the only place
that I can see this interaction
your port-o-potty reaction
to disease
is the lack of
this virtual reality
now please
revise your keys
and deliver to me
a more just confession
of your lust for me
I may just hold your dick while you pee
with a tong you see
kink_y 4 u and me...hehe

2 much time undefined

2005-12-06T01:18:00.000-08:00

for every moment i stay up late
and work that extra night
sit tight on the computer all night
its not right
i need to divide my time
make justice for the crime
I need to apologize to him
and define a
new space for us to relate
and concentrate of
how I can be a better mom
for him and me
and provide us with
that bus of trust
and I still won't care if you cuss
i just want to adjust
to this lack of time
to help us define
what is important to yours and mine

multiple layers of love

2005-12-06T01:09:00.000-08:00

i am draped in the clothes
of the last love
that occupied my time
the one whom captured
my dreams and thoughts
and carried them away
with him in his
overstuff bags
yet time has passed
and I still linger
in the essence of his shirt
yet I flirt
with the my new distraction
in fact I will add his
stack to my clothing rack
and wear them back to back
can I manage
to stack love like that
and continue to be
this techNO_c@t
a deviant brat
a digital trap
for these insufficient
lapse of memories
of uncontrollable
downloads into my rom
there is nothing wrong
with love more than
the one thats gone
as miles and seconds
become us
we transform from
acquaintance to lover
like digits into binary
each moving through
the mass of space
this finite race
against our own fate
we continue to rotate
and communicate
through these delicate
treasures we have left behind
for eachother to
love and define
these relationships over time.

I can't sleep I'm so excited

2005-12-06T00:54:00.000-08:00

insomnia is agitating
this situation
of inflation in my mind
of time dilation
compassion
a simple exasperation
of this relation
in physical and emotional
states of debate
and lustful fate
of this intimate
and deliberate
combination of
chemicals to
produce a reaction
of this lovely entourage
we call the crush

stop this nonsence

2005-12-04T23:10:00.000-08:00

you spend to much time on your computer
to much time with your friends
your gonna die in the end
if you keep smoking that stuff my friend
mom I beg of you to stop this last puff
I'll break your bong and pipe
I want you to quit, alright?
I know you can win the fight
to stop and see the bright
spend time with me i insight
for you to see my little light
it wants to shine in the sky like a kite
cant you feel this might
be the last time I ask of you
to find me, to help design me
I have to end now
break the violence of this addiction
this is now my mission
to stop these fears
of my little sweet dear
that I will leave him here
alone we both fear
with out his mom here
lost in her own world we both fear
an addiction to near
affliction of depression
a regression in this obsession
of my reality
I need to abandon this abnormality
of informality of my love
I want him to know he's above
the rest
and yet I still need to invest
more energy into my love
will he know he's the one son
I can not live to hurt
this experience I won't revert
for I know what I must do
and most of my friends are too
so this time I must make do and
decide to be clean for me and you.

cleaning your clutter from my mind

2005-12-04T22:31:00.000-08:00

Cleaning out my office today
clearing away the decay of
the marriage I one had
in this deserted land of love
that fed the distraction
of our corruption
in this love mine
I need more time
to justify and define
this mind and how can I take the time
if your demanding all of mine
I will clean this room
and free my doom
of this paper stricken
unconditioned mission
of getting my shit done
in this one to one
interaction that must be won
and overcome this
mess of some forgotten
almost lost in
the memory of what was
and how it never quite gave me that buzz
clean and store away
this lack of reality i will stay
with this task all night and day
until you've been filed and
neatly put away

technics in flirting

2005-12-04T16:44:00.000-08:00

the technic I have
in inventing this little life
in creating romance
thru this concrete strife
subscribe to my list
this is a digital bliss
an infinite kiss
a twist of you i wish
in this interactive
list of whom to que
a random chance of you
I'm off to do this spanish thing too
a quick dip in the sadistic
movement of my emotions are erratic
equipment list of this entourage of
incidents through flirting reflections in
the mirror of the
this lust inscribed in the dusty
stalls of these chalk covered walls
will you have the balls
to call it all, and stop this
obsessive wall of freak interactions
this is not my distraction
simply my reaction to our sexual attraction.

ftp was nice

2005-11-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

so maybe *I'm* not that nice
and I could have at least
thought twice
but it was so easy
ftp connected me
a surreal connection
a dissection of time spent
and places we rent
a collection of interests
a glimpse of taste
there is little time to waste
and thus i guess
i didn't hesitate
to investigate
this digital landscape of
my new playmate

document, capture each day

2005-11-27T12:41:00.000-08:00

it seems I need distance
as I push interaction away
yet draw in others to stay
this lack of self interest, my decay
yet divulge in it I will play
in self documentary each day
will be my way
I will pay what ever it takes
to make my sacrifice
and create this device
that i can utilize and devise
this artistic analysis of
my inner most thoughts
my robots, and chaos of knots
I think its all for not
my self is the only I've fought
critical evolution
in this conclusion of direction
this will be my infection
the detection of my innermost feats
the sails and the beats
a collection of my expressive
endeavors and self constructing letters
to document my life
a moment earth confined
divided by this sublime
and conscious
sometimes obnoxious
existence of mine
throughout a universe
of great time
a moment we all define
and here I document mine.

darkness upon my dreams

2005-11-27T12:36:00.000-08:00

its quiet and the night is still
a midnight lover from the shadows
descending into my dreams
this is an erotic fantasy it seems
silky skin gleams in sight
it reflects the ebony night
dark as the lingering twilight
a midnight delight
passion into the morning light
I awake from this lonely night
alone with my steam_E dream

add/delete user?

2005-11-25T19:31:00.000-08:00

have I gone mad
blinded I taste from
another mac user
something tangible yet virtual
a common addiction
of fruit
a byte of you
is too much to compute
this is a trivial pursuit
for my distance is increasing
in days
I am headed away
and no lover
can stay
even if apple is your game
my-space is
the ultimate race
in time I want to define
how to love and
yet treasure
my own dam time
and this love of yours
can mess up my mind
and I may find
in a months time
a heart of broken
hopes
and still more ropes
to keep me here
this is just a part of
what I fear
among the virus you've installed
and the system maintenance
I've got to overhaul
this is not all
that is dealing out cards
I have some bugs in my design
and in order to work here
you'll have to find time
to deal with this little network of mine.

goodbye we must say....

2005-11-25T19:18:00.000-08:00

you memory is fading
the essence of you is just a memory
in my distant past
a recollection with effort
and yet i long for you
waiting to hear your voice
wanting you to say
no
stop
wait
but those words will never come
and this place we've now created
is but severed in half
in a distance that is 1/4 earths mass
at last i can say
that I have made head way
in finding my self
and guiding us well
my direction won't sway
continue on
experiencing life
living each day
as I would have you stayed
wether we sill would have played
this is where
the reality sets in
and I can see the
love for you pumping
under my skin
and your essence within
this environment of lust
a simple misguided trust
of emotional and sexual frustration
your distance inflates them
lets save our encounter for the future
in this simple
redesign in our relationship over time
for now I have to move on with mine.

my lil oh's....

2005-11-23T16:57:00.000-08:00

my fear
of destiny
of the inevitable
the future

my desire
for the unknown
of the truth
of history

my inspiration
the little questions
simple lessons
people i've invested in

my love
of nature
of simplicity
and expression

my obsession
with technology
interaction
and several distractions

my reaction
to this existence
my instance
of consciousness

my delivery
of moment
this perception
and this direction
in time...

not now

2005-11-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

as I move forward
I find my self looking for reverse
trying to find a way to hide
looking for a new disguise
hoping I can fly
and leave these feelings behind
its not that they are not
of love I find
these feeling hard to define
I can't manage my time
I have to deliver this design
and continue on mine
this journey of me I must find
I need my space
this place where I can define
the distance of
and compassion's above
this is the flutter of my heart seen
a view of this dream
an illusion it could be
I need to make sure I still see
this part of me
blossom and become the artist
I see in the image of me
that I developed online
and over this defining time
of intimate self discovery I find
that I have a lot more of me
to discover in this sea
of mystery

Mac_support

2005-11-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

behavioral isolation of species
an apple integration precedes me
intentional digital simulation
an exquisite manipulation
of this binary form of code
an obsolete version of
originally I was sold,
slowly, your touch updates
my system with attraction
simply your attention to detail
is de-fragmenting my distractions
installing new software
to redesign passion
is this simple interaction

One...NOT

2005-11-19T15:36:00.000-08:00

her eyes shifted
her attitude twisted
a little sadistic
I wish I had missed it
cuz when I caught
how she dis_d it
out to me
I had to make her see
what a fucking bitch
and how she
is an evil witch
demeaning in language
your all but a stranger
dangerous is this dismissal
your no sister
the way you play
this is an evil eliminating way
you will see your own decay
in this missery
you pave your self
into that corner of elite
in your mind
no others can compete
and this is how you
dish out your fake heart treat
with shifted eyes
that roll through the street
I will eliminate this conceit
it is of the most obsolete
your heart has lost emotion
from your cold devotion
to this lack of respect
and demanded reject
of the people whom
you wish to have support you
when you don't even
take the time to see
that your pissing off
the vitality of this
enterprise you seek
your lack of participation
reeks this is your
odor of your crew
its elitism for you
but its lonely in there
when your left
isolated and blue
and you think you see through
but your not interacting
instead your deactivating
this communiKEY bab_E
because its more than just about
one, hey look here,
there is more under this sun
than just Alala One

participation in the production of sUgar

2005-11-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

I have to go buy
a new dustmask today
it's all in good work that I play
this effort to clean up decay
filter in new spirits
think of a way they can't hear it
hide our entry, secure it
detour it
for sure its
gonna be a glorious
ghostly hidden ball
exploring this abandon shell of walls
we will bring it just one more night...for all

Sometimes late at night...

2005-11-15T11:14:00.000-08:00

there is a vision
which will not leave my mind
a vision of us
a moment of time
a space to unwind
a taste of sweet lime
to quicken our pace
and trace the wind
consumed we try to blend
this message I send
of confessions
my lustful aggressions
this is no place for our digestion
of this obsession
of my love
it slips on like a glove
ever amorphous
like the stars above
our bodies tangle
a new strain of
macro-evolution
in this embryo of
our emotions
devotion
and simple
annotations
to this complex
relation, in relation
to phenotype
of our pangaea of
this little
lovers fight
to survive
the distance
of this asexual
relationship
in the grips of
paradise and
the reality of
this trivial life
without a partner
I will prosper
with strife
and continue to wonder
about the beta test
that fizzles now less
with no possible
time to invest.

flustered with....

2005-11-13T21:14:00.000-08:00

the one person
whom you made it for
whom you can't help
but completely adore
someone for
more than a quick tour
a door into
another world
when dreams
are created and situated
between massive objects
of equal attraction
a disaster of this reaction
a lack of distraction
when you just need a simple
infraction
something to impact
and take this
complex hack
back to the sale rack
I can't handle this lack
of response
a celibate entourage
to a distant
and deliberate
place where
I can see no trace
of us together
in that place
or that space
in each others arms
it seems so far
I seem stuck here
lingering in Boulder tar
shaken us
you have so far
and this may be the
the bitter sweet
more like a thick chocolate treat
but I will defeat
this sticky treat
and retreat to
a foreign blip
a time a place
an occupation of
a foreign space
and this long road
of time we see
our history
fading away
time takes hold and rips
those days and seconds away
and before us lay
this next and beautiful day
shimmering and shining
and telling us to
keep going our way
and eventually if it be
someday
we may run into
a path remembered
surly treasured
and find our loves
moved
transformed
and grown
or deformed
decayed
or sprouted
i just don't want to doubt it

my lil moss year round...

2005-11-11T20:04:00.000-08:00

autumn leaves soaked
and carved into the swollen grass
Blades green with moisture
delivered from drenching months
of my tears
falling upon the linoleum
and spilling upon the concrete
that runs between our souls
the tears flow down river
emptying into the ocean
of my dreams
drenching and drowning
my fears
and realizing my tears
are mirrors of my mind
if only I would take more time
to define this delicate season
and find my love
not lost in the memories
but in the little toes
that still reflect in the
waters that fill my puddles
with a pretense that
stresses and intensifies
as he splashes
and demands to be loved
adored and tucked in
through the little door
thats always open
just for him
a season of him is always in

darwin think fast....

2005-11-11T20:03:00.000-08:00

how can you
sit here and
wait for things to pass
you by
when you can fly
and take hold
of this precious
life and unfold
this delicate
flake of snow
that can be baked into
a pure and clear crystal
an automatic
love pistol
that can gauge where
to find your heart
and where there is
a super value shopping cart
fear not dread this feast
the beast is this
lack of nutrition
an over ingestion of yeast
and dairy
taste the presence of
hormones
genetic evidence
is this pathetic
sediment
of a civilization
upon this supermarket
of canned dreams
and unconventional
eliminator it seems
a reference to this
deliverance of
indigestion of this
inhuman reflection
of our natural selection

still....

2005-11-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

I drift here
barely in the balance
holding this space
occupying time
covering you with
the thought of how
I want to spend my time
this mess
that I have ingested
is just another
fantasy an addiction
to a style of destruction
a must have reduction
of this obstruction
I can only let you see
the very part of me
that is the shell of how
I see these places
should look
how I should cook
this recipe
for my own destructive
entity
a vital part of my
identity
but not to falsify
and unjustified
this conception
of this mass deception
on the reality of mine
and how I really
spend all my time
a quaker state
of lubbed up fate
a slippery state of mishap
to mistake
there is nothing to debate
its just a road of fate
if you can understand the
lack of mistake
its just a literal debate
on the eventual path
that has driven us past
this point of dimensions
inside this suspension of
my outside from within
a place I've never been
before this time I see
are you still here with me?

I drank

2005-11-09T21:32:00.000-08:00

this little korean ginseng drink
with the root in the bottle
struck me at the right time
my loins want to concur
then dwell in the divine
multiply and intensify
this feeling of desire
this is an uncontrollable fire
one I hope will never retire
for this moment is consumed
with the thought of sex with you

I awoke to

2005-11-09T06:48:00.000-08:00

candy wrappers clutter the floor
toys and shoes thrown through the door
no more
this mess is before
my insanity for sure
I need a detour
a simple cure for this
state of stale
a place not to inhale
a clutter of smoke
this place is no joke
clean it up
there is still hope.

it's hard when....

2005-11-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

the dreams are to real
I can almost feel
the moisture of your breath
the heat of your soul
I could almost loose control
but the dreams all I have
your memories in my head
a simple pleasure instead
of your fingers through my hair
those long passionate stares
simple silly sexual dares
it doesn't matter if anyone cares
I want to feel the hairs
rise on the nap of my neck
as I kiss your erect
your moans i detect
a love in the quivers
your heart starts to shiver
our bodies deliver
the expression of our time
a delivery of our sublime existence
in my mind, a dream to define

carried away

2005-11-06T22:01:00.000-08:00

a hole in the side you say
take a break
exhale relax
don't get so side tracked
keep in the abstract
distract from
the obsessive react
and create a new
beat, like candy so sweet
a cosmic love treat
let us nuzzle our feet
and delete the
distance that divides
our time
but delivers sweet
wine with the age
of love a label of our
fine devoted sign
of romance
advance of love
thru this musical dance
of our hearts trance

evidence is defence

2005-11-06T21:49:00.000-08:00

amnesia over you
I get lost its true
I cant find my way thru
the fog and the blue
is it just a dream in my head
this faded memory
of true love with you
it's like a brick to the noggin
delayed recogN0sense

/null

2005-11-03T15:55:00.000-08:00

the sorrow
one feels
when they are
left with no word
no sign
not even an
exit, or rewind
I can't define
exactly
what time
it all changed
and how I wish
I could have
rearranged
this game
of division of mind
and time
that creates a
crack and
slack in the love
line of mine
no way to climb
this desolate peak
this cursed
summit of sweet feat
this battle has
gotten me beat
and my energy is
gone, I'm now
mad, and can barely stand
this energy leach
broken promises of beach
instead this
love is bleach
and life here is obsolete
delete

erasers hurt

2005-11-03T15:42:00.000-08:00

erasers hurt
but sometimes
you need to erase
that plague of
madness
that blinds your vision
your path
of happiness
why do I have
to erase
why do people not
react, or interact
to make me stop
that elimination
from my life
I don't want to
but when there is no
interaction
and no love
then why stay
I can't feed here
on my own
twisted feelings
of decay

self torture

2005-11-01T23:20:00.000-08:00

empty collapsing upon it's self
removing debris that keep
falling into the depths
of depression and infestation
of the mind
if I could only
better manage my time
these among others
are questions on my mind
does this pass
how long will it last
will I still feel this burden of mass
weighing within the walls of my skin
I know this matter
is not the end
its just a state
of connection
a map of my directions
and where my soul
has stained this
existence
we call life
I want to see more of the light
the desire
the infection
this is a love
of my direction
its all I can
fill in my canisters of hope
nothings funny
when you've lost
your ability to cope
your desire
for the same
alone I am
crazy jane
lonely and to blame
exist in this
self pity and shame
a conscious
game to extract
and react
the lame
excuse I need
to sit on my thneed.

nowichange

2005-11-01T10:43:00.000-08:00

there is this place
this time
when you find
out what you need 2 do
you decide
you must change
must rearrange
and de-constrain
these impressions
these insistent regressions
I have so much to do
I want so much for you
I just can't make do
in this tunnel of blue
this trap is collapsing
my back is
to my door
but I have started
to keep my score
and this is my time
to take care of mine
including the divine
cussing kid of playa-time
it will be hard
to change
and break the plan
reconstruct and direct a
new man
in european sand
spanish is the plan
I will demand
to live our dreams
be true to my screams
of lust and desires
I need a change of fire
and the time can not wait
it is my fate
no time to deliberate

again

2005-10-31T06:39:00.000-08:00

each day
there is always something
more to say
it doesn't have to be complicated
or debated
only reiterated
on to this space
this place
that we can create
and filtrate all this
shit from the little gifts
that treasure our lives
that keep us synchronized
inspired eyes
visions of fire our desire
the passion we seek
the heat
never concrete
simply a moment
a glimpse of your world
an injection of mine
we have shared our time
drank our wine
that we delivered
this chaos
through veins of love
unconditional
keep it minimal
the distance is
invisible to the
haunted eyes
those whom devise
this separation
of the wise
and incredibly connected
easily redirected
to see this is a
secret society
of the
wild freak_e
techno sneak_e
a deliberated
display of technology
and love of art and play
I made love to you
this way
on the playa we play
and I wanted you
to stay
and continue these days
in my mind
all the time
as the moons
fade away
and each new day
brings you further away
in my memory you now play
keep it
stuck in this
digital message
a literal mess
a test
to see how much you want
to ingest
or invest
in our little mess?

interact or retract

2005-10-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

your lack of response
of emotion
your lack of devotion
to what I say
how I feel
I left it out on display
and with no conclusion
you stray
go away
never to comment
on the delivery
of my heart in this way
then fuckit to you I say
I will send no more poems
your way
your lack of reaction
has not helped my distraction
and now this infraction
of response in prose
has soured my rose
you can't smell it I suppose
but there's no excuse for
your careless reply
fuck you make me feel
like I want to die
burry my head and hide
and all that I've cried
the others have said more inside
this blog here where I divide
my love and design
it's a fine line to define
my passion and art
are not here as a digital fart
your lack of respect for my art
has soured my heart
its a complex part
of this body
and what I start
is a bullet
a dart of lust
this much you can trust
this love of dust
and particles of compassion
I wish I could fashion to your ass
and inflait your state and help you relate
to this complex rate at which
I write, and lead this fight
please don't loose sight
of my love and all the above
cuz its you that I love
just frusterated with your lack
of words to interact
with my only way to kiss
in this twist of reality we exist

I love you
I hate you
I miss you,
Your late too!
I can't do this any more
worse than going to the store
to shop for my mind
and the time I want to define
dream of with you
I know it's fucking true
your lack makes me blue
blush when you interact too

But this decision to display prose in this way
has brought me much dismay
I don't send it to you
for you just to see
to hold, disregard
forget about me
I want you to feel
to hear my inside
this great divide you've carved inside
I wanted your response
your interest
your sense of thought
My disolusionment of your intenstions
my misguided directions
this is such a fucking infection
of my general direction.
My head will be on display
my heart will be heard each day
but you will have to find it now
keep track, look back this way,
I will send no more this day
or any other I pray
as I lay here and fight
this right to express
how rude you are to regress
and not invest
your very best
in a response of genuine respect is the test
you failed I guess?

clearly its

2005-10-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

the numbers I remember
like the days of surrender
the memories complete
snow covers my feet
trailing paths of time
leaves fall as their color defined
beauty in the intricate design
an infrastructure with relative time
frost glistens on blades of green
it melts into drops of water clear and clean
so serene, a complex psychedelic dream
inhale the smell of change
and turn the page
just remember you set the stage
and the war you wage in this twisted cage
where you tie me up
and torture my soul
lead me on with your gentle beats
your hearts my treat
I fear your love
it's grip
can't dig what I've dug
you've bugged
and all I want is that hug
fuck the above.

day dreams

2005-10-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

What does your silence bring
avoidance this thing
still your game?
How does it lead me to
a greater understanding of you
and us?
Are you planning something, Devious?
Are you innocently occupied,
busy with the mundane monotonous?
Do you know how I feel,
stuttering here,
in your wake?
Do you see you left something
"real"
that satisfied me too,
now I'm blue?
What to do?
What to do?
So I sit and dream of you....

Fire on my Mind

2005-10-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

The smoke taints the air with the ambiance of the flicker from the fire.
The pillows lean gently against the beveled bricks that embrace the warmth from within.
The ashes floating lightly above the surface of the hearth misting the experience in microns of debris.
Shoes and coats line the edge of the heat parameter, evaporating their dank and chilled shell.
little toes protruding from pajama feet melted from the heat push, and pull eager to feel warmth.
spots of melted fabric are in alignment with the paths of sparks from flame throwing barks
this is where we said goodnight and where we greeted the day, and this heat I retain today.

Paradise

2005-10-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

a place I long to be
simple I want this place to see
everyday pleasures
unspoken treasures
holding your hand
no worry or demand
I have a whole different plan
my vision is strange
to you it may seem
no money, no house
could replace what I need
a friend indeed
no need to feed this obsession
my paradise is your infection
I'll take the wood stove, or sand
its really about the direction of your hand
the collaboration of our plan
my existence with you
is my paradise to be fanned
and blown more oxygen
this flame has need to burn
and that is paradise I have learned